Really?! No one went for "tattooth?" I'll see myself out.

I volunteered at a firefighter charity event that draws thousands of firefighters under the same pretense. I was unsuccessful in my endeavors that day.

I would marry my Mirena, even if it caused my weight gain. Mostly I think my weight gain is me eating like crap, not exercising at all and being over 30.

Please for the love of christ, can we STOP with the skinny man pants? Every time I see some hipster-skinny-pants-wearing-scraggly dude, I want to set fire to his closet. It's awful. It's a flattering look on no one.

He is.

Fact: my favorite road trip cd is Journey greatest hits. So great. Steve Perry is legend.

My grain-free cat does really well on Now, but reacted horribly to Orijen. He's also a picky eater. I have tried a million different canned foods (of which he will eat exactly 0), several dry foods (he will only eat them if they have a certain shape and texture, it appears), raw foods (he was like, "wtf is this…

RIGHT?! How is it so obscure?! It's SUCH a great song. I've known it forever, and I'm the least cool person ever. I'm always the only person who knows it also and it annoys me because it's *so* good.

The Oprah BEES! gif will never not make me laugh. I love it so.

88 Lines About 44 Women!

A horoscope for everyone

SNOW.

Thanks for the links. Electronic/dance and indie are genres I usually avoid at all cost. I worked with a team of folks who picked music for a retailer for a couple of years and I was pretty much always excluded from content decisions because I wouldn't listen to 98% of what was carried or played in stores. And in…

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? Are those... bands? Dear god, I'm old. Who the fuck ARE those people? I need to lie down.

Excellent Paul the Octopus reference. I <3 him, may he rest in peace.

My god that's horrible. What a c-word (a word I hate and never use, but it really applies here). I'm sorry. :(

Ugh. Dating is the WORST. I was in a bar alone (because my cats are poor conversationalists and I was trying to "get out there," and fuck, I enjoy going to bars alone). I tried to strike up a conversation with this nice-looking guy at the bar next to me. I didn't grab his junk and ask him to marry me... just kind of a…

That's my dream job.

Certain marshmallows are bomb (some are just weird), but jellybeans are the second grossest candy to gumdrops. They're part of the Axis of Evil.

Or like she's trying not to puke in her mouth because she just realized she's with Sean Penn.