Shit, does it? (I wasn't paying close attention, tbh)

My mother's most beloved dog is sitting hidden in her mantle in an urn right now. I know my parents wish to be cremated, and I have a feeling I'm going to be asked to mix FishCanine's remains with my mom's.

I had never watched Grease until this summer and I honestly freaked out a little in my head when I heard that. Uh... jeeze I hope not, because we don't call that Summer Lovin', we call that rape and probably assault & battery.

Literally the only proper response is for this girl to begin wearing those slutty slut shorts with heels, plus tank tops with those super-droopy armholes and a BRIGHT PINK bandeau that is emblazoned with "CALL ME" over and over on the sides.

It is if you want to be reached for shifts to pick up in a restaurant that employs 30 other crew members, 10 grill guys, and an ever-rotating position of managers.

Not to say that adjunct professors in general are all horrible people or that it's not a worthy job.

Jesus Christ, woman.

Please please no.

The weird thing about voices is that they change.

Thank you. This is now in my Amazon cart.

1.) I am almost positive that in the entire history of the Maasai, this chick is not the first female warrior.

Slavery is an inherent violation of one's own bodily autonomy and is categorically wrong?

No sex involved and you're literally paying me to take some dude's money? Jesus Christ, here I've been missing the easiest way to pay for school.

Thank you.

Oh, please. You act like there's a guarantee they WOULDN'T HAVE JUST RAPED HER ANYWAY and taken the phone.

Or in the restaurant or fast-food business.

I lost my phone for three days and it was REMARKABLE how much I missed - a few calls from work and the doctor, a slew of texts from friends of varying importance. I cannot imagine living WITHOUT one, especially in this day and age.

No.

This. The only thing I'm paying dues for is for the MA group on campus. I can fork over $20 a year for using equipment and access to trained teachers. I'm not so big on having to pay actual American dollars to have friends.

Same here. We have a million frats and sororities, mind, it's just that they're tiny chapters... and nobody really knows or cares what any of them do, besides throwing really terrible off-campus keggers.