$1000 a year = $83.33 a month = $20.83 a week = $2.98 a day

Honestly, I'm surprised the police didn't shoot the guy on the right as a reaction to this photograph.

That banana picture attached to this article is the only reason I don't regret getting out of bed this morning.

What is a Robyn.

Not fucking, apparently.

Standing up, Y.

I'm confused as to what you disagree with. The fact that it was 17 hours long (fact) or the that Matthew makes an unconvincing astronaut? Because I agree his performance was amazingly, gut-wrenchingly emotional and raw, and I think he deserves all the praise (the little girl was even better, imo)... but I still do not…

Is it scandalous to fuck in Church if you are married? Is it EVER scandalous to fuck in Church? WTF are those confessionals for, then!?!?!

I'm really confused as to why they are offended by this? Isn't their job to populate the earth with as many reality TV star Christian Fundamentalists as her uterus will allow? It's called work ethic, blogger lady. Get some.

THIS WAS THE PLAN (I was in Manhattan) and the DELIVERY GUY RAN OUT AND HONESTLY IT WAS A REALLY DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME AND I MIGHT NOT RECOVER FROM IT.

1. How could that be worse? They live in the SEA. It's SALT WATER. They're basically STERILE. That's the cleanest fucking food I'll probably ever eat. Besides, that means one less thing in the ocean which means one less thing for all the scary ocean creatures who terrify me to live on.

It's really hard to keep your buzz going during a 3 hour movie. Bring supplies.

I liked Robert Downey Jr. more when he was on drugs.

Honestly? It was pretty amazing. The cinematography is incredible and I found the whole premise really interesting, I would definitely recommend. However, it is also about 17 years long, which was a little exhausting after a while.

I would be eating a lot more shrimp cocktail.

No, that's Becky.

I just saw interstellar and Matthew is much more believable as a drunk dudebro throwing footballs at glass than as an astronaut.

You think I'm not going to tell you to handle your stupid kid because you're so selfish you don't give a fuck about anyone else in the store? That's your baby. Not my baby. I bought condoms when I was supposed to. Deal with it. Or don't be a parent.

WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. Absolutely not. Sorry, but if your kid is having a screaming tantrum, and you ACTIVELY REFUSE to placate said child, and then respond with, "DON'T TELL MY CHILD WHAT TO DO" when asked to calm that child the fuck down, we are going to have words and I'm also going to put a voodoo curse on you. I don't…

I take offense to this. All evidence has suggested to me that Rebecca is actually a very attractive, 1970s era, mustached white man.