Yeah, but women can gestate life and all you can do is masturbate to the porn you hate-watch because you despise women, so who is the real winner here?

Rihanna is too good for any and every person mentioned in this post.

I would add, you can deny a person a cigarette when:

I'm pretty sure tobacco companies are actively thrwarting this because the best way to get a person to start smoking again is just to get them to buy a full pack for that one cigarette. Then, you smoke another, and another, and before you know it you're in your best friend's apartment chain smoking newports at 5AM and…

This is the best thing I have ever read on Jezebel ever

I bet you also tell children Santa Claus doesn't exist, you goddamn fascist.

nope, you can't, because literally no one ever knows I'm a smoker until they see me light up. I know this because every person ever, upon watching me light up a smoke, has said to me, " YOU SMOKE CIGARETTES? BUT YOU NEVER SMELL I WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN"

This is like the idiot on my facebook who said Eliot Rodgers killed people because he was on SSRIs.

People like you give me life, truly. God bless you and your little hate filled heart, and I'm sorry that 4chan has sent you on this trolling errand because you deserve better, my beautiful little fennel bulb.

I am not very happy about having black friends because they constantly remind me I cannot dance and that hurts my feelings.

The commenters on this website are really not fun anymore and it bums me the fuck out.

100% Accurate

All of those suits would look better on my floor.

As opposed to Michael Brown's life, which is actually over. Because he is dead. Because this man shot him.

What constitutes a "real man"

"No one's culture or character or understanding is improved by casual sex, and the physical and psychological risks to both genders are profound."

True, but Kim K's ass is laughing all the way to the bank.

Bitch who asked you.

Way to body shame, Jezebel.

It's hard to get over a celebrity crush.