When I was 22 I made whoopee with some boy in Manhattan when I lived in Hoboken and at 9AM took the train back home dressed as a very slutty Captain Hook only to find on that mile walk back uptown that there was a children's parade and I literally heard a father tell his daughter not to look at me and in that moment I…

(I know, but this is possibly the only time in my entire life that I can pretend that I am superior to the Carter Clan, plz don't take this away from me)

"Gynecism promotes the political position that the primary and most essential power a female can hold is the control of her own sexual and genital functions. Gynecism sexualizes and sexually empowers girls and women throughout the lifespan and insists upon the absolute and sole right of a pregnant female to terminate…

Okay, it needs to be said... Where the fuq is this child. These people have more dollars than there are people in the US and they have their child in a goddamn creepy abandoned warehouse. I assumed the illuminati headquarters were more illustrious than this.

I'll be 100% real with you, if this was offered at McDonalds I would literally take a leave of absence from work and spend the next 7 weeks in a cloud of weed smoke while I shoveled French fries into my mouth with both hands.

<33333 your username

"NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR BONER" - Notorious EGR

THANK YOU

AM I THE ONLY WHO DOESN'T THINK THIS IS THAT WEIRD?!?!?!?!!?!

1. I'm going to be so real with you, I don't think it's that weird that she masturbated in bed with her sister. Sorry. I just don't. It wasn't like she was masturbating to the idea of her sister, or wanted her sister to watch, she just happened to like her sister sleeping with her in a completely nonsexual way and…

I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of the gender spectrum.

I honestly was never sexually attracted to him until this exact gif set. I like a man's sexuality to be as fluid as my orgasms.

If there is a God (JK we know there is and her name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty, glory on high, praise be jah bless) A Monica v Brandy style THE BOI IS MINE song with Bey and RiRi is in my immediate future and there are actual tears on my goddamn face right now.

Jon Hamm loves pussy and that's a fact I can get behind.

I will never forgive myself for not making a sex tape with a B Level musician and riding that gravy train all the way to the bank. You do you, booboo.

I love Lupita because she's holding it down for all of us in the itty bitty titty committee and I respect that.

I'll bite.

When I go to the doctor (or in this case, "doctor"), the only person I want to be lying is me about my flagrant drug use.

That dog looks terrified.

I actually love the color, and I'm a lady who loves silk EVERYTHING. But honestly I feel bad for the silkworms that died to make this. They deserved better.