No. Just raise better boys. Good kids who grow up with the proper understanding of what respect is do not turn into rapists because they joined some social club.

Gee, I’m real sorry your mom blew up, Rickie.

I’m so ridiculously thankful to have attended college before social media existed.

I mean, I don’t sit there and scour them like I’m trying to get caked-on grease off my good frying pans (unless, of course, I was doing something like wandering through a muddy area), but I do use a washcloth and soap on them.

Bunbury? Really?

Oh DAMN.

is this gonna be like a ben affleck thing where brad goes and lives in george clooney’s pool house for a few months because

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. This is the exact kind of celebrity gossip that I need to balance out the horror that is this election year.

I want to know how many people missed the chance to tell him how stupid that looked during the live finale. It was worse than the actual winner of the contest.

Nick Cannon is STILL wearing that fucking turban!

I mean, sure, Fallon blew it, but no more than any actual fucking reporter who has gotten a chance to interview Trump. Hell, he even got us new information- Trump’s hair does move.

I’m sure deep down she really respects your need to remain morally pure.

actually its really really really easy.

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

Goddammit.

That dog is missing its Buzzy Bee.

Yeah so if I find your sense of humor laying around I’ll be sure to send it back to you.