A girl I worked with wanted to use “You Were Meant For Me” by Jewel as her wedding song, and was devastated when I pointed out to her that it was a BREAKUP song.

Where does one even buy a slip anymore?

Yeah, she should be happy that he caught the ball! Who cares about a kid? Unless...did he keep the ball? Because he shouldn’t care about his kid to catch the ball, but he should care about kids once he does.

Dude, I was in love with Georgia when I was younger. I fell away from it in college, when TNR was the required font for everything, but such a great round serif font.

Calibri is an assault on my eyes and an affront to Helevetica and all other right-feeling sans serif fonts.

Our company MANDATES that our emails contain our contact information — office and cell phone, physical address, and email address. But most of us don’t inflict patterns or gifs or other shit on other people.

You can have my Times New Roman when you pull it from my cold, dead hands. #SERIFSORDEATH

SOLIDARITY! I’m a lawyer, and while it’s getting a bit better in the legal profession, there’s still plenty of White Dude to spread around. So tiring.

Cole’s a headcase. He’ll be doing well for a while and something doesn’t go his way and he has a melt down.

I had this exact exchange yesterday with a dude who was trying to tell me that Randy Bryce is “real” and Jon Ossoff wasn’t and that’s why he lost. Basically it was this:

Why are so many of them so bad? Do these guys not look at them and say “ooh, that’s not a good angle.” And why are do so many of them involve remote controls? You have to use that to turn on the tv! Don’t rub your cock all over it!

HAHAHAHAHA! It’s especially the ones we didn’t ask for that we show to everyone. If I asked for a picture and I got one, I would feel bad showing it, like it’s an invasion of privacy. But if you send me an unsolicited cock shot, I may just print it out on a poster with your number and post it on streetlights. (Okay,…

Jesus, that place sounds terrible. There were better conditions at the McDonald’s I worked at when I was in high school.

I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY! :)

I worked in restaurants for forever, so I am not surprised by the thumbnails or the frozen part, but I am fucking horrified that you had to pay for dropped food. That’s a fucking travesty and no self-respecting restaurant should permit it. I worked at most levels of food services from McDonalds to white glove in a…

Nevermind the fact that another city might hire him.

It was $6,000 for the weekend, plus his ticket (it was on VH1 this weekend :) ). But she had to cash out her 401k to come up with $6,000. I mean, yes, her parents have money, and she’s obviously middle class in New York, which takes some funds, but she didn’t have the $6,000 to pay him outright. She doesn’t have Sugar…

It can also vary A LOT by the gym you go to. Most places will give your tours or trial memberships so you can see if the gym is right for you. I go to a local Y and there are so many different body types and levels of fitness and no one pays much mind. Sure, there’s the occasional gym rat or gym bunny trying to show…

Such dicks! I may keep a future foul ball that I catch, but since I make literally no attempt to catch fouls (I usually duck out of the way), it would have to basically drop down the front of my shirt for that to ever happen, so I’m not too worried about it. :)

I like autographs, but only on things like pictures I took myself or the ticket from the game or something. I met the Giants announcers in the Redbird Club a few weeks back and they signed my scorebook, which was awesome of them, but I wouldn’t go up to them with a blank sheet of paper or something.