So many perfume labels should literally read:

There is also no proof that seeing the colour orange doesn’t cause autism.

I thought I was done with Weddings, but now I have found something much worse; being invited to a baby’s 1st, 2nd, or 3rd Birthday when you have no kids.

I have to ask, is inviting childless couples to your 1 year old’s bday just asking for a free gift like inviting co-workers and family you don’t know well to your…

There’s generally very little talking. It’s more about trying not to notice the old guy near the sinks drying his balls under the hand-dryers

People will now feel compelled to defend their weddings and now THEIR weddings didn’t have a bridal party or a photo booth and everything was made from local artisan lentils. We’re back at Jezebel circa 2012. Everything old is new again.

There are times when I really hate being single and alone.

I agree! And I don’t think the author wrote anything (other than hyperbole in the title?) to suggest you don’t get to have a fun wedding and be happy. More that we’ve reached peak commercialization and overseriousness with weddings, and the tide is starting to turn the other way.

I love how in Grease you can see Olivia Newton-John’s fillings when she sings.

iCloud has led to so many cheaters getting busted.

Are you like the aunt who goes:
“Oh he *also* liked some kind of dancing, invite him over!”

“But auntie Randilyn, he likes slam dancing and I’m taking tango lessons.”

“What, you’re so fancy you can’t learn a new step or two?”

Literally all of those things are the correct answer here, and yet I feel like you mentioned them sarcastically.

Guys I have been waiting to share this with you for five hours now.

So The Onion and Clickhole try their darnedest to be on the cutting edge of the satire, but I feel like they’re fighting a losing battle when everything is so ludicrous and absurd in real life.

You are so wrong it’s not funny.

Who ever St. Vincent is can consider the line “Because I’m not the Mad Hatter” stolen.

Times they are a-changin’ and I am fucking GLAD.

6 whole weeks?! Cause kids are usually pretty self-sufficient at a month and a half.

You’re kind of proving my point. I’m talking bout how a beautiful woman gets treated like shit and you post data to prove how easy she has it.

I don’t care for/about Charlize Theron. But I feel the article’s lead up to those comments is relevant.