Without making an ableist comment, allow me to reiterate:

Wait. so a child has a toy gun on his desk during a Zoom class, and he gets a visit from the cops and gets suspended ... but a politician brandishes his weapon in the Zoom meeting, and he gets a hearty belly laugh?

You don’t think a Widowmaker Viper makes life insurance agents nervous?

Leave it to Trump to turn the nation’s foremost disease expert into Kif from Futurama.

reading that bit about cruz and the lincoln project and came across this chestnut

I am disappointed in all of you. There is a history of bad decisions here and to reinforce that I submit the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio. Bonus is that there are probably almost none anywhere near there.

most cars don’t even come with a spare so fill’er up

How long before they start knocking on doors like Jehovah's Witnesses?

Intellectual sloths need a cult with simple tenets to blindly adhere to.

Look at moneybags over here with his “memory seats”. you think you’re fancy Kristen or something?

Inspect the ground for any drops of fluid anywhere I park for the first few days. Then realize how futile that exercise is as there are fluid spots everywhere in the world. 

Probably not so much out-parented, but the criminal didn’t want grand theft auto and an amber alert to worry about.

It must feel pretty bad to get out-parented by some car thieving crackhead.

To each their own, but I wholeheartedly disagree with leaving a kid in the car. Especially a 4 year old that’s old enough to hop out and join you. It takes less than a minute for someone to steal a car. Even if you can “see your car and kid,” by the time you react, its too late.

do people not know homeowners insurance takes care of damage done to your car in your driveway?

Stellantis is like the show Chopped, where a bunch of random stuff is thrown into a basket, and you’re forced to make a bunch of stuff just... work.

I agree 100%. it’s the reason I stopped checking Jalopnik.  Silliness. 

+1

Great, now its time to update this bookmark to thetakout.com/latest