Bannon would dissolve the parts in acid in his hot tub, not bury them in the basement.

Totally... Matthew 19:14:

Everyone knows that a good Giuliani would only be caught making out with the woman he’s cheating on his current wife with. Christ, have some decorum!

Holy crap, that’s Rufus from Supernatural. (And shitloads of other stuff, too.)

Thank god. It’s almost impossible to find a place to find a burger these days, finally there’s another option in a totally non-glutted market.

...he quickly dispatches with Archer (“overrated”), South Park (“same show every week”), and BoJack Horseman (“never seen it”).

Or as they call it... scissoring.

When someone is deep in depression, they feel that they are making their loved ones’ lives worse by being there, that they would all be better off without them around. In their mind, they are doing everyone else a favor by going. It’s not just escaping their own pain, but sparing everyone else as well. It’s not…

If you hadn’t said it, I was gonna.

Just do it like Garfield Without Garfield... Write her lines and film it as if she’s in the scene leaving time for her delivery, block it and shoot it like she was there. I wonder what that would look.

I can never make up my mind whether the friends are really that stupid, or they just play at being that stupid to make their viewers feel smart.

Wacky people commit hijinks, not shootings.

He’s Roy Moore, but honest. He could win in Alabama.

I mean... “The Skinny Guy” sounds terrifying.

“Fills our airways?” Like... they play it on airplanes? Or did he mean airwaves?

I went to a pizza place once that I’d never been to before because it was in my friend’s new neighborhood. As I was paying, the guy at the cash register, not recognizing me as a regular, asked me if I’d seen their restaurant on Kitchen Nightmares. I guess it was safe to ask after he’d already gotten my money, but it…

For me, Han Solo is Harrison Ford. Nothing against Alden Ehrenreich, but he’s not Harrison Ford. I’ll see it when it’s available to stream and from the reviews of people who have seen it, it sounds like I’ll probably enjoy it... But not as much as seeing a Han Solo movie with Harrison Ford.

I recognize sooo many actors (particularly on CW) from their guest appearances on Supernatural. Like recognizing Dale from All Hell Breaks Loose as the demon-blood-psychic girl that killed her girlfriend by touching her and ended up hanging from the windmill.

McConkey and Hoser sounds like a game for the Sega Genesis.

Objectivity is apparently measured by how much saliva is left on his balls.