Ah, what a bastard. :( Also, what the heck is up with Chewy only ever managing to not get important orders out on time? The same thing happened to me when I was struggling to feed my cat with IBD.

“She's on maternity leave."

What is this dumbass’s big idea that he thinks he is going to change the people’s minds about if he just bum rushes enough presidential candidates?

Baby walkers are the worst, please don't.

This guy I was hooking up with truthfully told the Customs Agent "a booty call". He didn't think it was funny. 

As someone who wants to be parted out like a car when I go, I say fuck yes to this. Make more organs transplantable please!

Ha! Well then definitely go, maybe now they'll finally listen to you. 

Any chance at all that after hours of copying and pasting and slightly editting the same message over and over, the sender failed to edit the message so it had your name? Happened to me before.

I'm sorry you had to cancel meeting your friend's new baby! I got to sniff a new baby yesterday for the first time in far too long and damn, I'm pretty sure that scent is so magical, it would have cleared your sinus infection right up. Dang babies and their wonky immune systems. At least you got sweet, sweet revenge…

What about clothes? Toddler clothes are hella cute and I accept any and all excuses to buy all things pastel sparkle unicorn kitty mermaid.

I mean, you do you, but an ice cream cake???

I find viewing the news on mobile is very beneficial to this! I scroll until I see the top of a photo, stop, and then quickly scroll past when I am caught up to that point. Simple, yet surprisingly effective at not having to look at a mumbling ham sandwich.

I got into Supernatural a couple years ago, not long after my mom died. Immediate and swift love but it began to taper off after Season 6. Never the less, it will always have a special place in my heart as something that was integral in my coping process. Have you seen the Sober for Sam post? It made me cry!

I know it's bad form to insult the partner when talking about a break up, but holy shit, calling dating someone for TWO FUCKING YEARS an experiment and a mistake is extremely cold and callous. Fuck being good enough for him, he isn't good enough for you. Loud and expensive are good things (excellent tools to dismantle…

Maya, you sent me a thank you note for a donation, which is more than I can say for a lot of people. Such thoughtfulness filled my heart to practically bursting. You could never be a failure in my eyes. <3

Hey Jezzies! I know I’m late to the party, I was out when SNS was posted trying to planting a little friendship seedling. Very excited about that, although nervous that I’ll Lennie it up.

It’s funny, cuz like 90% of the replies to every shelter update are some form of “How has no one adopted Bruce?”, but someday someone finally will and everyone will be like “Noooooo, don’t take Bruce from us! D’:”

Because it's not always the same artist, I guess? I have no clue what goes into wax figure making, mind you lol

As an adult, I would appreciate it if they stopped showing horror movie previews in front of anything that isn't a horror movie. Go peddle your trash elsewhere!

What is [Loonette]? I'll give you a hint... it's in the fucking theme song.