Ralph Shearer Northham, you stop that right now or I’m taking away your Jackson Family 5 8-tracks when we get home!!!

Wait, so the Party of Five reboot is going to have four kids?

For some reason, I feel like he wouldn't even being to do that, though...

To be fair - no wait, who am I kidding, I don’t want to be fair to this assclown. Anyway, there was a girl in my Senior class who went to a spray tan salon before prom and did in fact end up looking quite orange. Even worse, she wanted to tan because she had bought a white dress and didn’t want to look too pale in it.…

He tried to ruin Janet Jackson for not begging for forgiveness from being exposed against her will? Les Moonves is going on my Shovel List.

Hi. More information about your cats please? Do they have a YouTube channel?

And how about repeated pedophile Onision, who currently has a 14 year old living with him because somehow his wife (who he became involved with before she was legal) managed to convince the girl’s mother to give her custody and now they are grooming her to be a third in their relationship? When will that flaming shit…

Congratulations, that is fantastic! It sounds like I have a lot to look forward to :D

Thank you!

I know I'm guilty of doing that with pretty much every accent when I'm around a person who speaks differently than I do. 

So as someone who has only dealt with Vancouver and Seattle’s lightrail systems, The Underground stumped me. The first day I tried to use it, I foolishly tried to rely on Google Maps and wasted 15£ and ran off crying. What I ended up doing for subsequent trips was using a trip planner for the Underground and writing…

This past week, I received the results of a home sleep study I did through my dentist’s office. It turns out that I have mild obstructive sleep apnea and I am so excited by this diagnosis. For maybe 10 years or so it seems like it’s been getting harder and harder to breath (I’m sorry if Maroon 5 is now stuck in your…

I care what you eat... can I come over for dinner sometime?

Well, it's been going on for a while now, but yes.

This is literally the worst news of 2019.

Liar!

Whatever, as long as my beloved Brunch is still safe.

I’m glad it’s not just me. For a few minutes, I was worried I'd had a stroke.

Can we start a GoFundMe or notify David Tutera to make sure she gets her dream wedding? 

We've all been there.