If you’re using cream instead of egg, it’s NOT carbonara. It might be fine (good, even), but it’s not carbonara.

For decades, the conservative response to the accusation that banning abortion takes away a woman’s choice and the right to control her own body has been: “she had a choice, when she decided to have sex and take the risk of pregnancy.” That’s why rape/incest exceptions have been pretty standard. The woman didn’t…

I could see eating a cake cold if it has regular frosting. But eating BUTTERCREAM frosting cold? You have to be crazy. Cold buttercream is hard and crumbly and coats your tongue and mouth in grease. It loses almost all of its flavor too. It’s honestly not that much different than I would imagine eating straight Crisco…

Uh.... not really. First, you have to get prime beef, which costs a pretty penny no matter where you get it from.

While I may be burned at the stake for this internet heresy, perhaps there is a middle ground (did I spell that correctly?) between “ketchup on everything” and “never ketchup on anything”?

The Abortion = Holocaust thing has been around since the ‘80s at least. No, this shouldn’t be shocking, even a little bit. If it is, it just means you haven’t been paying attention.

I tried a Garbage Plate at Nick Tahou’s the one and only time I was in Rochester. It was freaking delicious, but I was freaking drunk. I am told that they are also good when you are sober, but I can’t imagine it compares. Garbage Plates are one of the best drunk foods I have ever had, they hit all the right spots that…

I have heard a different New Coke conspiracy theory: New Coke was created to get regular Coke out of circulation so they could switch from cane sugar to corn syrup as the sweetener. If they just switched abruptly, people would have been able to taste the difference. By taking Coke away for a while, the change wasn’t…

I used to like Strawberry Newtons when I was a kid, like 35 years ago.  I haven’t had one since then.

20 minutes = 10 minutes to preheat to 350 + cooking for 10 minutes

So let me get this straight: I’m supposed to spend the 20 minutes it takes to preheat an oven to 350 and then make toast in it, instead of just having a toaster do the same job in 3 minutes, with almost no effort, and likely a small fraction of the fossil fuel energy consumption?

I don’t bake much (or at all), but aren’t eggs literally size-labeled right on the box?  I’ve only seen Large and X-Large (and occasionally Medium), but that seems like the easy way, no?

It depends.  Green bears have a distinct lime flavor, but Haribo green gummi bears taste like strawberry.  So as long as you’re eating non-Haribo bears, it’s pretty likely that they taste like actual bears.

I was going to say the same thing:  Casino boats have been exploiting this loophole for decades. 

That’s like getting a free cupcake and saying, “Sorry, I don’t want it unless I can have 3 more cupcakes.”

There are several countries south of the US that are just FILLED with Christians who want to come to America and have babies. I wonder how Kayleigh McEnany and those like her would feel about that. I haven’t done any research, but I can only assume they would be absolutely THRILLED at this possibility, and would…

That’s.... not a secret. 

Buffalo Trace’s bourbon cream is probably the best cream liqueur I’ve ever tried.  I love that stuff.  I enjoy Amarula also.  And yes, cream liqueurs make fantastic boozy milkshakes.

Yeah, it’s infuriating when the notion that “America isn’t perfect, and it can be made better” somehow means you hate America.

As far as I can tell, the “no ketchup” thing comes from Chicago, and on a Chicago-style dog, I totally understand it. They already have sweet relish and sometimes tomato slices too. Ketchup just over-sweets the whole thing. If you char the dog, that adds a little sweetness too. But if you’re using dill (or no) relish…