I always used to order my tall cappuccinos at Starbucks “dry,” which basically left it up to the barista’s opinion of what constituted “dry.” Sometimes, it was indistinguishable from a latte, other times it was basically a macchiato with only espresso and foam. Then I discovered the short, and I never looked back. I…

Nah, it’s not jealousy. They’re either idiots or assholes, and you shouldn’t apologize for refusing to suffer either. Basically, there’s two possibilities:

Nah. This whole costume thing is clearly just to give people the option of not having their faces shown on TV, for fear of being recognized (or doxxed) and losing their jobs like so many of the alt-right assholes have been. 

“Why the fuck didn’t we just draft Watson or Mahomes?!” 

Seriously, I’m not even mad at Parkey.  If the Bears trotted Judy Dench out there to do the kicking, and they put her in the position to win or lose the game, it’s the Bears’ fault for putting her in that position in the first place.

“I’ve read Why Everyone’s Teams Suck and there has been one constant: everyone’s fanbase is racist. But Bears fans are the MOST racist.”

Too slow. The secret is: almost-melted ice cream. One pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream can net almost 1500 calories on its own. How many pints of ice cream could you down in an hour on an empty stomach?  Especially if they’re almost melted?

I mean ..... That’s just like, your opinion man.

Bernie’s chances of being selected as the nominee would markedly improve if he ever once demonstrated that he had even the most rudimentary understanding of what “cost” means in the economic sense.

I don’t know if I agree. With the Bible in particular, there’s really no “one way” that you can interpret it. It all depends on the weight you give to certain parts of it. The New Testament with its “do unto others” and “turn the other cheek” and “blessed are the meek” is very different in tone and message from the…

“So, imo, it’s a very simple equation for why they don’t believe Trump is racist. He says what they are thinking. They don’t view themselves as racist.* Ergo, Trump is not racist.”

I’d probably give the edge to Kate in this one. Good quality and versatility in her draft. But I can’t vote for anyone as “winning” this draft because nobody picked the Mai Tai. Not the syrupy fruit juice thing that passes for a Mai Tai nowadays (although those are kind of tasty). The classic tiki Mai Tai, just…

An AR-15 isn’t going to be enough if they all charge at once.  Clearly a belt-fed M-60 is the only viable option for this guy.

I don’t understand why you would need 30 bullets if you would only have time to get 3-4 aimed shots (or maybe 10 spray and pray shots) off before the hogs ran away.

Maybe it wasn’t intended as an ethnic insult? Maybe it was just meant to imply that his siblings are better than him?  I mean, GWB got called Fredo too.

Cheaper and tastier, but smaller. This is the key with Subway - the fact that you’re getting a full footlong sub. The equivalent sub at Jimmy Johns is an 8" sub.

Oh yeah, I meant with my right hand.  This muffled sound is the best I can do with my good hand.  If I try to snap with my left hand, the sound is pretty much imperceptible.

A logical person would think that, but did you see the hissyfit he made when he lost the popular vote? Trump got 4.5 million votes in California in 2016. Without those 4.5 million votes, Trump would have been crushed in the popular vote. Even if Trump manages to win in 2020, losing the popular vote by 8 million votes…

I can’t snap my fingers.  No matter how hard I try.  It might be an anatomical thing, or maybe I’m just not doing it properly.  Not sure.  I just know that I try to do it, and all I can get is a muffled sound that sounds like someone is snapping their fingers on the other side of a closed, insulated door.

I can only tie a necktie if I’m tying it on myself. If I try to tie a necktie on someone else, I might as well be trying to tie some complicated sailing knot.