Not Pictured: The exact thing that the title of the article specifically refers to.

Redford seems to have hoisted us by our collective petard 

Where is the hoisting??

Jesus, the Zapruder footage is clearer than this!

“I’m just naturally a monster.”

Oh so its funny when they fall off the wagon, but not when I do?

The Astros are so preoccupied with outscoring the Yankees in individual games they may end up losing the series in total hits, which as scholars know is really what it’s all about.

Gardner hit 28 home runs with a career-high OPS this year. If the continued employment of a dude like that is the most baffling thing you’ve ever witnessed, you’ve gotta get out there in the world, my man. There is some truly weird shit going on!

I’m all for cosplaying as the 2009 squad, but putting CC in a high leverage spot and batting Brett fucking Gardner 3rd- two spots ahead of Gleyber Torres!- as they did in Game 3, might be going overboard. What I’m saying is I can’t wait to see Derek Jeter back out there missing liners that go four feet to his right.

Yes. Let us all hammer on the NBA about China until Hong Kong is free. For lo, I have no ties to the industries that prop-up this authoritarian dictatorship, and thus am completely absolved in my criticism.

Trying to figure out which computer, phone or tablet, with no Chinese-sourced parts, this was written on. I’m guessing a Commodore 64.

“Silver does deserve credit for not firing Morey on the spot”

The Chinese are a bunch of bloodsuckers, so they assumed Adam Silver was on their side.

They couldn’t figure out what they wanted to be. First it was nice but reasonably priced Steakhouse, then Steakhouse sports bar, then high end sports bar. Brunch, then no brunch. It was weird and profit margins were too small. My friend took over the space, opening a tap room for the family brewery and it’s blowing…

For fucks fsake, fyou fguys fsure fknow fhow fto falliterate

Nice. A minor suggested adjustment from someone who spends about eleven hours a day thinking about alliteration:

Titans Tee up Tannehill, Tanking for Tua, Though Totally Terrible Team in Tidal Town will Take Top Talent

“They weathered an electric start from Corbin, who struck out 10 batters in the first three innings”

I still think the Cardinals will come back and win this series.

+1 WhoOOP