Remember when we all thought Sarah Palin was as bad as a right-wing hockey mom could get? Fun times.

While it’s nice that he has the foresight to season his fingers, you really want to see him eat the W there.

I guess that explains the 90 minute showers.

Douche move?

“It’s probably too much to ask that a professional baseball team keep a close eye on the condition of labor relations in various east coast cities...”

“Did somebody say big bowl of chili?”

The sea was angry that day my friends- like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

So he’s playing another American Psycho?

Yet more proof that the only thing that can stop a bad horse in a bar is a good horse in a bar.

He certainly is a special dad.

I’d say I’m doing as well as any depraved sexual miscreant out there, but that’s probably the blackberry brandy talking.

I just wanted to say that while I can always rely upon you for a thoughtful, yet witty take on the dystopian nightmare that is our American politics, this may be your finest work. I probably look like a sycophant right now, but this article is gut-wrenching to read because I cannot find one untruth within it.

It wouldn’t bother me. My old man told me from a very early age that a man doesn’t throw his dinner out just because there’s a little extra seasoning on it. He should just be glad he’s not going hungry. Then he winked and clarified he was talking about the clap. Then he dropped me off at my tee-ball game so he could…

Why can’t the entertainment just be 20 additional minutes of the national anthem?

Odd thing to bond over, but I just read about Tavistock the other day too. Does this make us friends now, and if so, can I pick the funny/affectionate nickname you have for me?

Holy shit, this is fantastic. 

The answer is that Joe Flacco alone is elite.

I may catch a lot of heat for this one, but I think this bigoted, lumpy sack of cheeseburger is doing a terrible job and never should have been elected.

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