Because petty theft is the biggest concern in America’s fourth largest city, which is currently under-fucking-water. Best case scenario, these were people who were starving or deprived of fresh water. Worst case scenario, these were opportunistic looters. Either way, calling the police is a waste of valuable resources…

Oh sure, Dayton Moore can talk to his players about pornography, but when my Little League coach did it he went to prison. #hypocrisy

“I was there too.”

Did you read the fucking article? It was a supermarket, not someone’s house.

I named my dog after Mookie Wilson. I am a Cubs fan and Mookie Wilson retired when I was 4.

Pfft, I always slid head first. In Little League. Because I saw Rickey Henderson do it. I’m thirty and every bone in my body aches. I’ve also been day drinking.

+1 star

Nothing more exciting than a bang-bang play at the plate, followed by 2 minutes of awkward mostly dead air while the umpires watch infinite replays.

“Get to the choppa”- the worst Kinja commenters.

This deserves all of the stars.

Who signed Riley Cooper?

Bafflingly Bad Blake Bortles Bungles Again

I never thought I would type this, but I wish the POTUS had as much dignity, class and self-awareness as the guy who named himself after a Muppet Babies character.

I’m surprised they weren’t enticed by the A’s offer of a used copy of Moneyball from Redbox, a Jose Canseco game-used syringe, and the taxidermied remains of Charlie-O.

I disagree. Who wouldn’t want to travel to an anonymous town in the racist hellscape that is Arizona to see the Milwaukee Brewers?

Weird, I thought cigs were cheap in Florida...

I work for a craft beer company. Every team meeting or company getaway includes at least 25% of our staff inviting me to watch a livestream, talking to each other about their favorite shows, or busting out their guitars and tokin’ a doob to “Gotta Jibboo.”

Phish was good once?!?

He won’t be able to see Phish this weekend?

“Pfft, that shouldn’t even count as a homer” - me, a guy who couldn’t hit the ball out of the infield if I stood at home plate for ten thousand years.