UGGGG...he doesn’t owe anyone an explanation about anything

He was publicly embarrassed, because his date wouldn’t go home. She went home with him. She engaged in oral sex with him. She asked him to stop and he did. Instead of going home, she stayed and watched TV. She has agency too.

Honestly, she owes him much more of an apology than he owes her one.

For sure, he could definitely do that, and I would be very curious to see “our” response to an apology as simple as that. I wonder if it would also be a losing game for him considering so many people don’t think he did anything overtly or intentionally wrong (which I’m not saying is actually a good reason not to…

Something else I saw someone mention on Twitter was that somewhere in this special (which I haven’t seen) he says that his experience caused some of his male friends to stop and question their actions, to consider how they can treat women better. That at least seems positive if it’s true, especially for him to spread…

Is there anything he could have done or said that would make anyone happy? Truly? He was basically flamed by a consenting woman who published revenge porn about their encounter. I really don’t put Ansari on the same level as a Louis C.K., nor do I expect that any of us or owed an apology or reckoning from him.

long time lurker.

The real story here is how sites like Jez have essentially turned a tweet about a bad date into a fake story. 

He sounds tired because the outrage aimed at him was blown completely out of proportion.

I agree - I’m not sure there’s a way for him to satisfy everyone here. But he took the first step. And maybe it could be more introspective or self-critiquing as the author suggests but it’s only been a year and to process something that significant and all its meaning and the ramifications is a lot. That’s not to…

I wouldn’t even call the babe article “allegations of sexual misconduct” there was nothing legally actionable there. Using this language to frame the whole narrative makes it about “sexual assault” (which the narrator was clear didn’t happen). It was never about that for me personally (and I think most people?), but…

He has nothing to own up to.  

My thought as well. If he’d focused on how he felt and wished he had been treated, we’d all be here shitting on him for being so self-absorbed and sounding like some sort of sympathizer with sexual assault perpetrators.

I am actually very curious how someone in Ansari’s position could really own up or say something that would really appease us. It just seems like someone in this position is relatively doomed (rightfully or wrongfully—I’m not making a judgement on that): anything he said would probably have not been enough. And that’s…

Good review. I agree he maybe could’ve gone a little further, explaining how he (hopefully) now understands the difference between just getting consent and getting enthusiastic consent (the idea that of course no means no, but also yes means yes), and somehow making that funny.

It’s a comedy special, not a memoir, and a pretty funny one at that. He the public no further explanation or reflection in that forum. 

Exactly. This woman belongs in jail. She essentially pushed a non-committal suicidal person off a bridge instead of getting them help.  It’s so incredibly cruel that I can’t wrap my head around it.

Is this article actually implying this girl needs sympathy?? Honestly?

“Appalachian Squirrel Queen” is going to be the name of my new death metal band. Thanks!

She might want to re-think that since she’s going to have to make a firm decision regarding choice of prison gang soon and the Rollin’ 30 Cholitas are this years favorite.