Next step: establish the “Owner’s Tribune.”

Is Joe Flacco elite?

Thank you Raiders. This will not end well for you, but you’ve saved us from the most banal MNF commentator ever. Namath, OJ and Dennis Miller were better.

All 35 of them. Slow news night?

It would be worth sending him to Cooperstown just to watch him goosestep to the podium to deliver his manifesto, uh, I mean HOF induction speech.

She needs to start stocking up on cigarettes. They’re currency in prison.

Please God, no.

Well, that behavior is OK on Ron’s Riverboat, so there’s that.

Enough. James is an offensive foul almost every time he drives to the basket. Shaq laughs at how much he fouls at the offensive end.

Some cheese with that whine?

I approve this prank, even though they forgot to light it on fire.

Twist a pig’s ear, listen to him squeal.

Using volumizer on your thinning hair doesn’t hide the fact you’re a meth head, Kellyanne. (Do the mirrors work in her house?)

Nice family.

2 things that need to change: a) NFL catch rules. 2 feet down and control = a catch; b) Eliminate replay completely.

Can we get similar dirt on Jerruh and Kraft? It likely exists.

Zinke is a needle-dick hand-tied fly fucker.

San Jose. Land near the Shark Tank. Train station next to the site. Blocked by the Giants.

One game? For criminal assault? Same as you get for ripping off some jagoff’s gold chain? And this ignorant bitch is going to appeal when it should be 3 games? Fuck Gronk. Fuck his entire ignorant family.

Thanks to the NFL and its owners for making things safer.