Holy shit. “Details are still not made public.” Where do you get these amazing apparently internally conflicting facts? Facebook? Zuckerberg’s personally recommended sites?

You forgot to say BENFUCKINGHAZI.

You can go to your bunker to avoid politics. Wait, you didn’t build one since last Tuesday? See . . . this is why following politics is important. Go get some canned goods.

He’s a lying sack of shit. Go to Twitter. Troll his orange ass hard.

Come on Ecuador, quit giving him a haven. Get his rapist ass sent back to Sweden. Now.

Fuck these assholes. Raise hell. Call them directly. Send letters (!!!)—you can’t go after shitheads like McConnell and Ryan online. Send them certified fucking mail.

But first you’d have to explain the concept of character. Good fucking luck.

Coward. Just like his father. These bullies need to be bullied. Rain holy hell on them at every possible venue.

Wow, you’re working really hard here. You have a limited amount of time to jerk off while the wife/kids are away—don’t waste it. Oh, am I giving you too much credit as a human?

Michelle is fucking hot. Melania is a weird clothes hanger with a really bad hairdo.

Also stop commenting on any domestic abuse cases. What a bunch of assholes.

Wait. You’re more worried about the timing of a press release than the fact this was allowed to go on for years? Are you trolling?

Let’s keep in mind, as Ken Starr so helpfully pointed out, Briles is the real victim here.

Looks like about half of Americans also don’t know a fucking thing about politics.

Next year the Klan will be a full time sponsor.

Tough shit. Go face the music asshole.

Putin is proud of his mentoring.

In some ways, that’s even more frightening. However, Trump’s ego will not allow this.

Here’s my guidance: have a massive heart attack and die on live TV.

“With respect” as a preamble to any statement is the same as a “fuck you.”