Messi missed a kick, but I wouldn’t call it a choke. A choke is what Denton is dealing with. Have you sent your resume to Buzzfeed yet?

This should only be on NESN. The Chowderheads’ Comedy Hour.

17 vouchers and $75 in discounts. And I can use these to buy general admission tickets to see Hootie! Fuck you Ticketmaster.

“Scholar athlete.”

Fuck Wayne LaPierre and fuck this country. Nothing happened after Sandy Hook where 6 year olds were gunned down. Fucking 6 year olds. Why will this be different?

I vaguely remember the Phillies winning a World Series 8 years ago. I guess that doesn’t count?

It’s still Cleveland.

Lebron is an offensive foul almost every time he touches the ball.

Ringo’s going to change his last name so no one thinks he’s related to Ken Starr.

Losing sucks (I didn’t even stay around to boo Bettman last night), but it was a hell of an unexpected ride for Sharks fans.

I guess you watch your TV by reading warmed-over internet takes. There’s no Dave around today—all of the late night shows now suck. Dave’s an icon, will always be.

She might have gotten The Daily Show if she wasn’t completely unfunny her last couple of years there. Her “performance” pieces were beyond painful—her pieces sucked. John Oliver would have been the best choice, but HBO already locked him up.

Colbert of the Report was a gift. Colbert of the CBS show is a major disappointment. The show sucks. Sorry.

Dan Turner deserves the full hell that is the internet. Destroy this asshole—turn him into a fucking stain.

“Was?” Hey Barry, feel free to use the present tense. You are still a dumbass. (BTW: please explain how your head shrunk 12 sizes since you retired).

Bill Simmons thinks you use too many words.

“The greatest baseball player of all time.” Click-bate. I bit. He’s not.

Didn’t he retire in about ‘82? Hack.

The best part of this is that holier-than-thou Ken Starr is in the middle of it. Let’s have some criminal charges for everyone! Which program is next?

He’s still a selfish unlikeable prick. And since Kobe retired, uneasy the head who owns the crown.