Where’s the big, pissed off, green guy?

“John Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend! All he wanted to do was go to the movies...” 

Personally, I blame Biggus Dickus. And his wife.

“Things that really bothered me included 1) the vulgarity and gore, which added absolutely nothing to the narrative, other than simply being there...” - shut up you fucking pansy. 

I passed a DeLorean once. Came up behind this car while doing 67 on cruise in a 65 speed limit and he was running about 65 himself, so it took a bit to to catch up to him and the whole time I was trying to figure out what I was looking at when it dawned on me: I’m coming up on a dang DeLorean! Back to the Future is…

“Proceeds to destroy the infield grass.”
*clicks on story to see video of the destruction*
*discovers there’s no video because Deadspin just loves to say “hey fuck you” to their audience sometimes*
Oh ok, cool guys. See ya later.

I’ve tried many times and I just can’t wear sweatpants. I’m very warm blooded and having my legs and nether regions ensconced in a what is basically a fleece blanket leads to bad enough “Swass” I could fill a mason jar. Pants are just fine on me - jeans, dress pants, khakis - but sweatpants are a no go. So, when…

Can’t wait to hear Amy Schumer talk about her vagina again.

What really bugged me was there was a quick shot where he’s leaving the farm - located south of Chicago out in rural Illinois somewhere - and the road he turns onto has a perfectly clear shot of the city way off in the distance behind some hills and whatnot.

Fucking no.

First off, it’s Chicago. The only way you can see…

Buttfuckingham Palace is a totally different place though so make sure you don’t get the two confused.

Part of the reason for this is because, timeline wise, it’s only been like 2 weeks at the most since all of this started (Negan showing up and killing Glen and all of that). It’d be more frustrating if it had been months or years and she turns into Joe Swanson’s wife on Family Guy, constantly being pregnant and never…

What exactly happened here though? Cause it didn’t sound or seem to me like anything went wrong. She just started over. Also, what did she say? For being a live show they sure were quick with the censor button.

I shed no tears for dead Nazis. Burn in hell, motherfucker.

Man that is some epic hover-hand going on in that cover photo...

I’m a 6'4" white guy, I’ll go with you. I want to see this too and also have no one to go with and know that if I show up at the theater alone everyone is automatically going to assume I’m there to nab a kid. Screw you, I’m here for Lego Batman.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in my life to happen. Please do this. We need this, SNL. Please. Give this to us. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

She got lowered from the ceiling which was still like 100 plus feet in the air. I mean it’s not AS impressive as jumping off the roof, but it’s still pretty damned impressive.

Why isn’t the Rockets mascot a, you know...rocket? Stupid mouse deserved it for being wrong.

Purdue just destroyed them 80-59. I think you got the answer to your story already: they are not for real.

Where can I fill out this application? None of it sounds “over-the-line” to me and I think Rob would appreciate my 6'4" 275lb services if he needs a bodyguard/personal assistant. I can assist and guard, easily.