Pardon me for not knowing but does “Our time was 10:55.166" mean 10 hours or 10 minutes?

“...to the southeast Indiana backwoods.” Hey, wait a minute... *realizes I live in Indiana and it’s accurate* Yeah, ok.

Chris Sale gonna Chris Sale.

Last 2 PPV matches? Try every match he’s had since his main roster debut in 2013. Dude is completely useless and boring at this point. Any time they even attempt to make him relevant he turns around and loses a match and looks like a fool and has to start back from scratch. It’s like listening to a record player…

HEAD! MOVE!

Thanks for sharing the high school girls twitter handle guys, I’m sure no one is going to look her up and then creep on her themselves or anything...

After he jacked another donger last night and the announcers made a huge deal about him (yet again) my immediate response was “Yeah, steroids will help you do that.” Come on. His highest profile teammate is Ryan “I’ve Been Suspended More Than Once for PED’s” Braun. Dude is definitely on something and his bulked up…

Well....bye.

Given that the KKK started here, that sounds about right.

Oh, good, you can count.

Hey, little Sabryna and Jaxtyn have a right to have Facebook accounts just like everyone else!

EVERY TIME WITH THE GODDAMN PACKING TAPE

I got car jacked in Evanston. Yeah, you read that correctly. Evanston. Not the goddamn demilitarized south side that I drove through an hour or so before. Not anywhere along LSD when I was stopped every three seconds either by a goddamn stoplight or someone changing lanes for no reason and thus causing a traffic jam. …

“Holy shit check out this goddamn basketball shot!”
*video doesn’t work, not even a little bit*

I was just quoting John Cusack in High Fidelity. But good to know!

“John Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend! All he wanted to do was go to the movies...” 

Personally, I blame Biggus Dickus. And his wife.

I passed a DeLorean once. Came up behind this car while doing 67 on cruise in a 65 speed limit and he was running about 65 himself, so it took a bit to to catch up to him and the whole time I was trying to figure out what I was looking at when it dawned on me: I’m coming up on a dang DeLorean! Back to the Future is…

“Proceeds to destroy the infield grass.”
*clicks on story to see video of the destruction*
*discovers there’s no video because Deadspin just loves to say “hey fuck you” to their audience sometimes*
Oh ok, cool guys. See ya later.

I’ve tried many times and I just can’t wear sweatpants. I’m very warm blooded and having my legs and nether regions ensconced in a what is basically a fleece blanket leads to bad enough “Swass” I could fill a mason jar. Pants are just fine on me - jeans, dress pants, khakis - but sweatpants are a no go. So, when…