And the uppercuts. I liken Foreman’s uppercuts to Friday the 13th Part 8 when Jason uppercuts that dudes head off while fighting on the roof and Ali just takes uppercut after uppercut, his head snapping back in a horrible whiplash motion, like it was nothing to him.

Some of those body shots...Jesus, did Ali have a core of steel or something? Foreman hits me once and I’m in the hospital for weeks. He hits Ali 3 times in 2 seconds and Ali’s stomach muscles don’t even reflex from the impact. That man is (was) inhuman.

I had my first cup of coffee when I was 3 because my grandpa drank it daily and I wanted to be like grandpa. Everyone gave him shit because A. I was 3 and drinking black “military grade” coffee and B. It was going to “stunt” my growth. I was the tallest and biggest kid through all of elementary school, towering over…

I’ve drank a lot in my time on this Earth but I’ve never drank myself to “passing out behind a dumpster” levels. Even with that fact, she did nothing to deserve this and this kid (and his father) are massive pieces of shit for what they’ve collectively done and essentially gotten away with.

How are you typing right now? You’re supposed to be sucking a dick. You can’t suck a dick and type at the same time. Fuckwad.

Not really a rant but I think Ali’s quote of “Suck a dick, fuckwad.” would fit quite well right here. Oh, right, Ali didn’t say that. I did. Fuckwad.

He ducked/dodged some of those punches before they were even thrown. Dude was entirely on another level. Crazy.

What’s Kipnis got against sandwiches in the first place?

Look out everybody, its the Fun Police. Put down your Fun and stop having Fun or you’ll go to Fun Jail.

Look I hate kids just as much as the next person but Jesus, calm down there Satan.

This lego statue, people’s hopes and dreams, innocent-already-imprisoned gorillas...kids fucking ruin everything. Every day I thank myself for never having kids and every day I make the decision to continue to not have kids.

Indiana. Just avoid the entire state. You’ll thank me.

KETCHUP?! Fuckin’ savage...

I live near Indy. Not much a difference between the landscape of pre-race and post-race. Yeah, that’s a lot of trash. But Indy is trash all the time anyway. *shoulder shrug*

You gave a good list of songs and all but the most played “share it with the world” song has to be Kid Rock’s Bawitdaba. At least, it is in my town and just about every other town I’ve been too and someone pulls up next to me blasting it. I swear it plays on some secret radio station that every sister fucking…

I tried it and immediately got an email back that said the email “failed permanently.” So much for using that then.

I was gonna ask for audio of the Sox broadcast of this but then I remembered Hawk Harrell is a perpetually pouting Homer and realized the only audio would’ve been silence occasionally broken up by huffy breathing.

What if you are 6'4" and no matter the office chair you sit in your knees end up mid-chest?

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever witnessed in my life and I simply cannot get enough of it.

I got my hair cut the other week and some Bill Lumbergh looking motherfucker was on his LAPTOP the entire time he got his haircut. He was seated next to me, hair cape on, laptop on his legs, just happy as could be. I glanced over to see how much hair was getting on his computer and I see he’s on Facebook. That was…