Maybe we can get some Fat Shaming stories while he recovers now...

My cousin has a dog that was a rescue. Not a “you went down to the shelter and got a free dog” rescue but a legit rescue. He was used in dog fights as a “training dog” for the bigger dogs to beat up on for when they would fight. The dog fight ring was busted, the dogs confiscated, and this little guy was adopted and…

I will download this and give it a shot but there’s no way in hell I’m syncing my phone with The Rock’s and waking up when he does. Dude gets up at like 3:30 every morning and, sorry Rock, that’s when I’m doing my best sleep of the night. I’ll stick with my 6:30am “normal human time.”

Well, I get that part. But I was only asking how she suffered an injury. Being sold something that is less quantity than what you pay for does not result in an injury, unless she’s taking what little coffee she was served and was pouring it directly into her eyeball or something. Otherwise she was just paying too much…

4 years ago I worked my ass off for 11 months and lost 80lbs, all on my own. I wasn’t on any sort of reality show, I got zero accolades for doing so. I was just fat and tired of being fat and decided to do something about it so I got a goal weight in mind and started working on losing weight. Unfortunately, I did not…

“As a result, Plaintiff suffered injury in fact..” I...wha...huh? How...how? Just how? No other words needed here, just “how?” How did she suffer an injury? It can’t be from being stupid, she was clearly born that way and, ergo, did not suffer anything. She was born stupid, and remains stupid. So how did she suffer an…

He forgot to Regulate, dammit.

They broke my watch!

If it helps your rage, I actually know a Brycelyn. Or, as she is known to me when I randomly bring it up to her parents and I use her full name: “The fuck kind of name is Brycelyn?”

The combination? Yes. Those things on their own? No. Except mayonnaise. Fuck mayonnaise.

I got winded walking to the bathroom today at work so this story can FUCK RIGHT OFF. *wheezes from shouting*

Deleted scene from Ghostbusters where Walter Peck freaks out after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man deluge?

Why did I just sing this in the exact same voice of Eddie Vedder?

Kaytlyn, sister to Bryxtin and Paytyn

You sharted because your body was involuntarily trying to avoid taking in a damn pimento cheese sandwich. Christ. Even thinking of eating something like that makes my anus quiver.

Praxtyn, son of Kayden and Jadelyn, future father to Brycelyn and Jordyn.

Hey look, the manager of that BDubs got a Kinja account!

She got a title card to open Raw tonight. If she gets a video package later in the show I will be shocked.

Why am I always hot?

No problem, NoodleDime.