Be careful though cause some of these places, while offering this, will end up being dicks about it. I’m signed up for the Buffalo Wild Wings club (or whatever they call it) and get emails for coupons and stuff. Last year, when my birthday rolled around, I got an email for free wings on my birthday. Cool. Sounds good.…

Video sold me with the instrumental for “Whoop that Trick.”

Then get his fucking name right, if you love him so much. Multiple times in multiple posts now you’ve spelled his name wrong. You can’t possibly care too much about him if you care so little to even spell his name right. It’s right there in the goddamn URL to the story and in the headline. Patton. Oswalt. Not Oswald.…

I stayed up because it is win or go home time from here on out and I knew I wouldn’t be able to even get to sleep unless I knew if they won and got another shot or if they lost and it was all over. Let me tell you I was fucking miserable when I got up this morning (I’m on Eastern time, about 2hrs from Chicago in…

Yeah and then after the game, at 1:45-ish (EST) in the goddamned morning, Milbury makes post-game comments and calls out Foley and says that if he can’t handle late starts then they should get someone else to call the games. My thoughts: suck a bag of dicks, Milbury. That game last night ended at 1:30 eastern time…

This is almost word for word what I said to a friend the other day. I’m even 32 too! I said “they are so good and so fun to watch and it’s all leading up to them ripping my heart out and showing it to me before I die in October again.”

This song/cover could have been 45 minutes long and it still wouldn’t have been long enough. I could listen to that all day.

That is my big fear with this movie. It looks so hilarious and Keanu looks so goddamned adorable and I’m actually afraid to go see it because with it being a comedy I fear that, at some lame attempt at shock humor, they’ll rescue the cat only to have the cat jump out of a moving car and eat it or run out the open door…

“Hicks’ rocket from left field registered at 105.5 miles per hour, which is the fastest outfield throw ever recorded.” not if you count Henry Ravenboozers frozen rope from the bleachers at Wrigley.

My first time was the night of the 2003 WWE Royal Rumble. My friend, whose place I was over at, asked if I wanted to get high and watch the pay-per-view. I had never been high and loved wrestling (still do) so I thought “eh, why not?” So we start in and he gets distracted by his girlfriend showing up and so I finish…

As much as I loved the Bulls in the 90's (growing up outside of Chicago as a kid it was all ANYBODY loved) I enjoy the hell out of these stories and reading the different perspective from the teams that beat them. I’m an MJ fan and always will be, no matter how much of a dick he was in the real world, and yet I just…

You mean a major news outlet either made up or embellished a story in order to attract attention and get people talking? GET RIGHT OUT OF TOWN WHO WOULD EVER DO THAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME COME ON.

Taylor Swift is so out-of-this-world attractive that I want to bend her over a barstool and tongue bathe her asshole for multiple days in a row and you guys can read this can’t you? Oh shit, I forgot. Umm...diet coke and vodka is NOT a cocktail. Yeah, that was the topic. My bad.

I’m a Millennial and I remember this but please, tell me another story, grandpa.

Then why the hell was he behind the wheel during a major storm in the first place? Huh? HUH? ALL I SEE ARE EXCUSES I DON’T SEE ANY FACTS.

As a functioning anal retentive neurotic with severe OCD I have a system for loading up groceries which involves placing heavy items first followed by any and all boxes followed by any and all cold items followed by any and all fragile items. If the cashier starts ringing stuff up and bagging items out of this order…

Do you...would you maybe...maybe want to marry me? Dream woman?

A guy told me the other day that “if you were darker you’d look like a taller, skinnier, Gabriel Iglesias.” I, being white, said “Ok....” and he said “I mean darker if you were a Mexican.” I said “Yeah, I got that.” and he said “You’re a big guy, like Gabriel is, but you’re taller so it doesn’t show as much on you.” I…

Meanwhile, in Indiana, I still can’t even buy alcohol on a Sunday because religion. Man, I hate this state. Good job on this, Pennsylvania. We’re almost half of the nation good with this thing now and each new state that does it fuels the next one to follow. Don’t worry about me here in Indiana though, we’ll no doubt…