“It didn’t matter that I hadn’t been hit in the head, either. The acceleration-deceleration process is what causes a brain to shift within the skull and become concussed.”

Mate, no. Just no. I spent a lot of my childhood being deafened, oven’d and embarrassed in one of these. It didn’t have an SR20, it had a non-turbo diesel van engine, a 0-60 time of 27.5 seconds when new (which it wasn’t when we got it), grey vinyl trim that would become red-hot when exposed to sunlight, zero air…

Well that’s a shame, because this one was significantly better than episode 1. In fact it made last week look like a hastily assembled pilot, which maybe it was.

Imagine how good it would be if Chris Evans presented it instead of Chris Evans. Although I don’t know if Chris Evans is actually a petrolhead, which would be required if he wanted to take over Chris Evans’s job.

Shall we now review the first TopGear episode from 2002 for comparison? I was underwhelmed by a few things about last night’s show - Evans’s forced enthusiasm, the terrible Reliant roadtrip, the rather rushed guest bit (although the track’s cool), the underused Sabine - but at the same time, it’s unfair to write off a…

So when it works, it’s brilliant, but then it stops working?

Traffic.

My mother is aware of cars mostly because me and my dad keep watching car shows and Dad’s watched F1, BTCC and TopGear for so long that I honestly don’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t watch those things. Also, her own dad (RIP) was an engineer and made stuff like hovercrafts, but specialised in stress and…

What actually caused it, though? Cars don’t just spin out of fear of climbing Radillon. Also I’m pretty sure the engine cover flew off once the car had already let go, not as a cause (because how tf would that work). I’d assume left-rear puncture, but there’s no obvious sign of ruptured tyre...

It’s worth bearing in mind that they’re in the middle of a tour at the moment that’s really full-on. This was in between two show days.

He’s a “NISMO Athlete” so he gets the same intensive development programme as GT Academy winners, the likes of whom have debuted at Le Mans with a similar level of experience to Sir Chris and gone well.

This could be entirely within my own mind, of course, but what if the newly-added raised edge around the outer tail lights is a reference to the Kenmeri (KPGC110) tail lights?

It’s never going to be as simple as “either he’s exactly as he is on screen or he’s nothing like it.” Humans do not work that way. Not least because all the presenters slowly became sitcom caricatures of themselves anyway.

In the “TopGear Ashes” episode the Aussie presenters do it, but that could well have been written. Maybe it’s an old, mostly dead joke/thing.

Double or quits that people won’t care about it as much as the Bugatti.

Does David Croft get annoying or are you used to his voice now?

Are we going to mention that the Concept_S does 0-200km/h about a second faster than the Chiron?

Nah. If you want one that boxy, buy an older one.

Aren’t Citroën looking to put this (or a version thereof) into production?

How the hell does he know where the track is?!