I had no idea bats burrowed.

I can’t even pretend to understand this.

Well... that’s like your force, man.

“Anyway, like I was sayin’, porg is the fruit of Ahch-To. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s uh, porg-kabobs, porg creole, porg gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple porg, lemon porg, coconut porg, pepper porg, porg soup, porg stew, porg salad, porg and potatoes,…

Yeeeup. I still havea Sega Genesis and its original box (which is really enthused about 16 bit technology). Though, to be fair... who doesn’t wanna go back and play more Toejam and Earl sometimes?!

I swear, I’ll totally turn on my launch-era 360 I’ve had for over a decade again, even though more reliable models are dirt cheap and I can pick one up at any point!

You know what they say: Domo Arigato, Demi Lovato. Domo. Domo.

Penis: COAXIAL CABLE

The problem with Venus probes is that they get destroyed so quickly, since Venus is awful.

Then a bunch of sniffing, followed by that time he mocked the disabled reporter.

I disliked this film when I saw it on Saturday. Now, with some time to reflect, I’m really hating it. Who was Snoke? Fuck you, it doesn’t matter. Who’re Rey’s parents? Screw off, it’s irrelevant. Here’s some wacky hijinks at an interstellar casino, suck it up and enjoy that, you dipshit Star Wars fan.

I don’t think I’d buy ‘Bag O’Lamp Fetus’ wallpaper.

This year, we finally learned that when we’re dancing and doing “The Robot,” we’ve all been doing it horribly, horribly wrong.

He’d make a great Sith.

Oh, THAT’S why I roll my eyes so much!

I’m not tearing up...you’re tearing up! :’(

I can tell you’re dripping with as much enthusiasm as I am.

I screwed up and confused them with the BET Hip-Hop Awards, which happened tonight. Story’s been updated with the correction.

Hey kids, let's go lay on a pile of rocks! Sound fun?