Yup. No argument here. I don’t think the Cubs are all that seriously chasing him. Plus, if their interest is rumoured it could well up the asking price for a rental.

Only reason the Cubs would be in on Machado IMO, is if either Kris Bryant’s injury is worse than anyone is letting on (which doesn’t seem to be the case as he’s off to Tennessee for a rehab stint) or just to keep him off the Brewers, Barves (sic) and Dodgers.

No Deadspin-style “Getting Hit By A Car”? Because that would be preferable to going into any of those fuckers’ basements

Don’t know if it’s widely available in the US but Fraoch heather ale might be an option... it’s hopped but minimally

Yankees/Sox are games where I pull a Bill Shankly and hope they both lose.... but one or the other pissing on their chips in spectacular fashion is always fun... and I know at least two Sox fans here in Cork, so I look forward to discussing this in detail with them in the pub..

They were about to use that hoarding as an emergency stretcher for a Cards fan whose jorts got entangled in his MAGA thong.

I would like to manage your campaign for President in 2020

I used to refer to cage-fighting as “WWE without the fun storylines”... seems like MMA is catching on to that concept. 

Jesus wept... "The Brits". You do know that Britain and England aren't the same thing, right?

On an overnight flight from Hong Kong, the little old lady next to me obtained hot water from the cabin crew and proceeded to loudly slurp down a giant, stanky tub of dried ramen. At three am. Gag.

MOJO magazine did a round up of “100 Greatest Guitar Moments” about 20 years ago. Whoever picked the outro to ‘Expressway’ described it as “gigantic bells tolling deep under the ocean” or something similar. Always stuck with me as a perfect description. 

You’re right, it’s a weird tie-breaker. Luckily Belgium are going to win 4-2. 

‘Zactly!

Woj is the Doc Emrick of draft euphemisms

“Halt or I’ll remove some stones from the sole of your boot and then open a tin of beans!”

Switzerland has a tiny standing army, all males between certain ages are potential conscripts and therefore have weapons at home. But no fucking ammo. US gun nuts love to cite Switzerland but they don’t realize that this is what a “Well regulated militia” actually looks like, rather than carrying a loaded assault…

nice one, centurion

The alphabet that these kids are being taught in the school there:

This world would be a far better place if gorillas, chimps, bonobos and orangutans were the only great apes. 

With a (conservative) estimate of 125, 000 Poles living here in Ireland, I’m kind of following them, because they are also crazy Catholics who know how to drink and are therefore fun to be around. But damn, if that wasn’t a fun goal.