Lackey heard that the first base had cancer

...or until turkeys vote for Christmas. Oh wait, that happened last November.

Exactly. Absolute free speech belongs in the bin along with the right to bear arms. A constitution written in a time of armed revolt is anachronistic in a modern democracy

We have a beautiful, lyrical saying here in Ireland that has been passed down the generations and is, I feel, very apposite here:

Samer, this is possibly the most succinct analysis of that entire shower of arsewits that I’ve read. Good Work

I was going to suggest that you get Kluwe on as a guest before Marchman got back. You still should, just give us a shitty take trigger warning.

It could be a red, but unlikely. More likely a yellow. And it’s not a penalty if he handles on a backpass, it’s an indirect free-kick in the box. Which are always hilarious and don’t score that often.

Hell, even Ted Cruz could see that the kickmen goaled into the wrong soccer-place.

Nice!

And, having mentioned that, I’m reminiscing fondly of Mick McCarthy launching the ball into the upper Troposphere with Niall Quinn or Tony Cascarino’s heads as the eventual splashdown target. “Putting the ball into space” had a whole different meaning for those late 80s-early 90s ROI teams...

That’s what they get for, in Jack Charlton’s memorable phrase, “Fannying around at the back”

It just hit me. Trump is Len Dykstra with a weirder hairdo.

Me too. If desperate I would wipe my arse with the Sun (if the only other option was coarse sandpaper). The Mail.... Pass the 240 grit.

1) Getting hit by a car

We’re extremely used to that here, usually from UK media. We’ve either got horses wandering down our city streets or toddlers selling their grannies for smack. Or, in the case of Limerick, both.

Trust me, we all learned Irish at school but the vast majority of us would struggle to carry out even a basic conversation as gaeilge. We’re bilingual in name only

Thinking out loud, but could it be something as stupidly simple as the fact that Irish people struggle with the ‘th’ phoneme, both voiced and voiceless? The lack of that phoneme us more typical of non-native speaking countries,veg France?

Where on earth could they have contracted the Norovirus in the garden suburb of Stratford?

I think remanding witnesses to Rikers and attorneys hiding clients in toilets counts as “extraordinary”

I propose that Redford go straight into the Deadspin HOF for that Photoshop. Genius.