strapped to the outside of the rocket, of course.

Pretty much the only thing he said that I understood was that Mumford & Sons are hipster music. But, boy, that was pretty damn cool.

You, my friend, are a genius.

Reince isn’t really a Football fan. He prefers to play the hoop ball game with Ted Cruz. He scored lots of basket points last time they played one-by-one together.

Maybe a clenching?

Grittiest, scrappiest folk I can think of are Turkish. If they’re your friend, you have a friend for life. If you fuck with them.... heaven help you. They will devour your soul and the souls of anyone you ever nodded at. They’ve been fucked by Europeans and Asians and are still doing their thang.

You missed a trick not going international with your airport draft: Changi in Singapore is almost pleasurable to be in, especially Harry’s bar, which is in a cactus garden on the roof.

HMRC, I think...

Religion is poison. The blind pig that was Chairman Mao found that acorn.

Somewhere, in a tastefully-appointed Red Room, David Lynch just sat bolt upright..

Now if only we could convince him that re-enacting Slim Pickens’ last scene in Dr.Strangelove next time they drop a MOAB would get loads of play...

Don’t take this the wrong way, Marchman, but feel free to dine on fistfuls of shit. Love you!

Hall of Fame former players in charge? That’s bound to work, right Colorado?

Early contender for Headline of the Year. Sadly, only the cockroaches will be around to see the eventual winner.

I’m not American, so maybe it’s a cultural thing... but I never, ever understood this “Mercy Rule” thing in US Sprotz. The only question that needs asking in these situations is “Is Points Differential a (potential) tiebreaker?”. If yes, then take all those shots and run that score the hell up.

I had deep-fried Aubergine wedges for the first time in China some years ago and came very close to founding a religion based on them on the spot.

Unlike, oh, say, pregnancy as a result of rape or incest ( just to pick a totally random example for no reason); Burneko regularly flensing these shitheads truly is a “Gift from God”.

Next time she sees him, Merkel should give Trump a copy of the Rome Statute with a handwritten invite for the US to recognise the International Criminal Court.

I did not think that I was going to make fried chicken tonight. I was gravely mistaken. I am going to make fried chicken tonight.

I have many, many vices but fortunately, gambling isn’t one of them.