“You’re in Redskins country” - not part of the official Ellis Island greeting guide

Sounds like the double-team really forced him into the turnover this time.

I guess he posted a bunch of pics on insta flossing his watches and jewels. Idiot.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing top flight swingmen that defense doesn't exist.

Is it because he can't get off his back? That is why bender loves turtles

Well uh I’ll tell you what, if Jordan’s still on that team sometime around the third quarter that guy would’ve found a way to start taking points off the board for the other team to keep them from ever getting to 140whatever. He’d have just FOUND A WAY. With the flu, he’d still have found a way. And that’s what’s…

“Finish the job.” — Michael Vick

Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?

By the look of that kid, though, he could not eat enough pasta. I recommend a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.

I don’t know if I like the look of DrunkChicabro it’s sounds like in some drunk Latina girl or something.

“Hey hun, would you mind spending the next couple of hours watching something that you have zero interest in?”

Maybe true 2-3 years ago, not true anymore. Bucks gear is all over the city.

Unless he stole your laptop. That’s another acceptable time to dislike him.

So we get to the final showdown in Empire, and just as Vader is saying the money line, my kid mindlessly asks, “Hey, is Darth Vader Luke’s dad?” AS Vader is revealing it.

Deadspins obsession with Cam Newton is borderline sexual

Shawn Kemp overuses the line “I am your father”.

Both are excellent choke artists.

He’s more like a stormtrooper, missing all those shots.

It’d be an extra deposit. Trisomy 21 is an extra chromosome on the 21st pair, not the lack of one. But cool “NE dudes, are, like, retarded, hahahahahahahaha” joke.

“When do I get to meet Lebron?”