A+

This is the single cutest thing I have in my arsenal. If this doesn't work, nothing will.

I have a whole system worked out with a friend where I need to contact her every however often with my location and, if prompted, give a code word.

Church. Always church.

Yeah, I'm right there with ya.

*subtly sniffs finger*

It may be petty, but as a bisexual (in case there's anyone left on here who didn't already know that about me!), I feel kind of left out by organizations that choose to use the specific words 'gay' and 'lesbian' in their names. :\

He bounces around like my character used to when I played Street Fighter II in the arcade at the bowling alley.

You're truly living the dream.

The bitter betrayal of copy + paste?

Sounds more like someone seriously mentally disturbed rather than your average horrible dudebro...by which I mean he probably would have stabbed her - or anyone - for any reason.

But...but...Disney World!

Shouldn't Jaden Smith be in school, learning how to utilize proper grammar?

Of course she's playing the 'I'm just a girl!' card.

I don't even need to click on this to know exactly what he's going to say and how he's going to say it, because I quote this ALL THE TIME.

So I should burn those photos my parents took of me in the tub when I was 2? Because there's no way that doesn't constitute child porn to someone.

I hope they don't have any while I'm there! I will throw my fucking crepes at those assholes.

Are we really making this a thing?

OH MY GOD