Which of them will start hooking up with Johnny Depp first?

I'm starting to think this was all one big scam.

Ugh, dude, stop making me dislike you!

Bzuh? I never stopped sitting that way!

I WANT A GOD DAMN PUPPY.

Not unlike genital herpes.

Giraffe reminds me of

The sweetest Moscato you can find. In no time at all you'll be vomiting and slipping into the cold bliss of unconsciousness.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.

I'm gonna need one for 'this is the first Christmas since your mother died and no one knows how to talk to you without shooting looks of pity and saying things like, "It must be so hard," and you want to get wasted but every time you try your sole remaining parent - who is as innocent and wonderful as the old family…

I read the headline, actually said, "Oh, Mark," out loud, then checked the author.

Two words: nerve endings.

Piercing places should demand enemas before such procedures. Just like I'm sure high-class gay male prostitutes do.

I hate you, Mark. I hate you SO much.

Anyone else suddenly getting a ton of comment notifications from September?

Yup. Before Black Friday went mainstream, the Saturday before Christmas was always the single biggest shopping day of the year.

Sad. Just...sad.

If anyone's interested in this subject, I highly recommend a documentary called One Nation Under God. It was on Netflix last time I checked.

I used to come out of the grays pretty quickly, but lately I've been perma-buried. What gives?!

I just got my first tattoo this week, and I've just realized I need to dye my hair before Christmas! Anyone have experience with this? I'm doing a patch test and hoping no reaction means I can go ahead :\