Is it really fantastic drama though? Instead of any real exposition, there's a lot of "things are getting hectic!" yadda yadda.

So I totally thought that the wife and SIL were having a lesbian affair with each other and I kept waiting for that reveal as I read through this. Then I realized that they were each cheating with someone else, not together, and well...the story got infinitely more "normal" and boring. lol.

Here's what I believe about Diphallic Dude:

but Amazon lists the book's publisher as DDD Publishing, and the only record of a publishing house with that name exists in Germany and is focused on music.

Pretty sure that's "Double Dick Dude" publishing.

Yeah, that's how I know the guy is lying. Even just bumping the cervix feels like you're being split in two. You don't get to total cervical prolaspe with just a "Oh... you fucked me inside out..."

if i believed he was telling the truth about any of this, i would understand why anonymity would matter to him. but since i'm now convinced absolutely everything he says is a lie, he needs to show his face and prove some of this. at this point i don't even believe a word of it.

Secretly convinced he is actually a virgin because of his two penises and that this is all just a really sad, sad front...

Not for nothing, but for all your harping on the proper way to communicate in the English language, your writing is incredibly convoluted. I'd take their morsels of slang over your overwrought ten-dollar words any day.

Oh god, you're one of those goofy little burners who hates Jez and everyone who comments here but can't stop showing up anyway? I love your work!

I read all of that and now I think you have too much free time. You might wanna use it to pry that enormous stick out of your ass.

I find her to be Artschool Irritating. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the vibe I pick up.

Is it somehow not clear to you that this particular dude would have been a total monster who was a threat to everyone who went into his dungeon? Because it's pretty clear to me. I seriously doubt he murdered his wife in order to become a good dom who respected his subs and did the training necessary to avoid…

Hmm...maybe you're having a hard time finding examples of healthy, well-balanced incestuous relationships because they don't exist? Or if on the rare chance they do exist, they have the good sense to keep that particular family skeleton in the goddamn closet?

Nah. Fucking your teenaged daughter is objectively wrong. NEXT.

Oh for fuck's sake. THIS is the exact type of comment people are talking about when they talk shit about Jezebel commenters.

Eighteen bridesmaids? Hahahahahahahahaha that's bonkers.

I kind of like how Victorians dealt with it. After a wedding, each guest is mailed the bride and groom's new calling cards. If you received a calling card that contain the married couple's new address, it means that they want to continue their friendship with you and you may call on them. If you receive a calling card …

I thought that was ... the only possible interpretation of 500 Days of Summer ... Did I miss something? Like, I thought that was super obvious.

WORD. Watermelon is incredibly bland and I cannot, for the life of me, understand why people make such a big deal about it.

The way Lucy Hale feels about cantaloupe is how I feel about watermelon. I mean... it's just watery and boring. There are TONS of other fruits I'd rather eat.