As someone from N.O., that was also my assumption until I read this today.

I 100% understand that morning people are that way because they are, just like night owls are that way because we are, but I dislike the idea that society has decided we are lazy fucks because we don’t want to get up with the sun. This is way older than modern larks -- “early to bed, early to rise” and all that…

This, so much. It’s about your body’s natural preferences. In my case, no matter how robust my sleep, no matter when I schedule myself or how consistently, my body wants to sleep on a teenager cycle — around 1 AM to 10 AM. No amount of coddling makes it enjoy anything else.

I think the difference is that our society sees morning people as productive, good members of society and night owls to be lazy slackers/party-animals even though they’re often awake and productive the same amount of time. It’s not fair but it’s true, and so a morning person seems worse because when you’re a night owl…

As soon as someone says “No negative attitudes, you’re off the team!” to someone pointing out physical impossibilities in the logistics, you know it’s going to be bad.

You mean the guy who got his pilot’s license from Microsoft flight simulator two months prior? Who did nose dives for entertainment?

I love the “I don’t know how everything went so left” idea. Yeah dude, it went left the first time you didn’t listen to experienced people who said what needed to be done in order to make the event happen. Or, I dunno, maybe it was when the first engineer hired to figure out the water and waste management part of…

I guess they made it wrong.

I hadn’t realized that Martin Shkreli and Ted Cruz had a baby. Good for them!

Wally would make an exceptional emotional support handbag, but alive, this is more like a suicide support animal.

You forgot The Good Place’s theory of time/existence:

Chipotle. 

I went to a super restrictive religious elementary school, which I guess made us bored and weird in return. Anyway, it was probably 3rd or 4th grade, definitely old enough to know better, and I remember walking around the baseball diamond with my friends during recess chanting, “God made dirt so dirt don’t hurt.” We…

Nancy burning Trump again.

This is exactly the mess Coveney was warned of by the Medical Council of Ireland in December, when they begged him to defer the implementation date of the law by up to three months.

That movie is about adult women who enjoy sex. It literally has nothing to do with the rape of young girls.

To steal a phrase from “Cell Block Tango,”

I’m so in love with this image I’m going to tattoo it on my person.

CK asserted “The whole point of comedy is to say things that you shouldn’t say. That’s the entire point.”