When I put together a cheese plate, I try to hit several checkboxes-

loving this cracker basket idea

Thanks! Your paragraph description just saved me from having to pore over a cheese plate influencers account. It’s amazing what a simple handful of words can accomplish. 

After the patient’s back pain improved, he discharged himself.

It sounds like Average Anna has a pretty good time until she gets married and has kids.  That was obviously her mistake.

Anybody know Anna’s phone number?

Me: Jesus Christ.

I never really liked any of the ghostbusters but Kate always makes my day.

I say give Kate McKinnon & Co another crack. In fact, let Kate McKinnon have a crack at anything she damn well pleases. I’ll watch it.

Moms need it to remember the days when penis wasn’t just attached to that thing that doesn’t do laundry and snores like a banshee.

I don’t know if Gillette razors cut into hair better than other razors, but nothing cuts into a person better than the truth.

I experienced the same thing a couple of years ago with a fashion week in a major US city. The founder wanted the glitz, glam and accolades that came with putting on the event but didn’t want or know how to do the work. The entire “staff” was comprised of interns (unpaid, obvs) and there were no holdovers from…

My first fictional horse cry was this

McFarland:

Never be in the pocket of Big Moon.

Jezebel: Earth has too many moons.

King of foreplay.

I posted the same link before seeing your comment. Hello, sister.

This. I’m naturally a night person and I’d rather take a beating than get up before 7am. Years ago, I worked a 12hr, 3rd shift job where I would go to work at 7pm and get off at 7:30am. I could get home, sleep from about 8am to 1pm and be fine all night. If I did that the other way around, I’d never be able to…