$82,594? How much of that was for Jerry Jones breast milk?

Roasting the Governor could feed between 30-40 starving people for a week...

Funny enough, Blue Moon and this brewery are both owned by Coors.

You’re just adding more holes for him to try to put his penis in.

Oh, Natasha, we get it. You’re still closer to Teen than Exhausted Parent. But trust me this article will come back to haunt you in some way.

Then they really should come to my parties. Me and my friends just push the furniture to the side and dance. We also have a gay dinner talking about our plans of ruining the fabric of American society. Our new book is out:

I knew all about these teen tricks because I USED TO BE A TEEN.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”

Eventually, life imitates Monty Python.

Why is there gay bar club music playing over the highlights???

So there are leagues worse than MLS after all.

I am so glad my grandfather lived to see the Phillies win their last WS, and then died after they lost to the Yanks the next year.

I'm pretty sure that's just Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio.

The ankle count thing is new this year, as it was always kind of subjective whether a guy hanging on an ankle was stalling. The locked hands was borderline, in my opinion, but locking hands is locking hands. Kind of a shitty result for both guys in the end.

The Eagles reportedly offered him $9mill per year. Let's see what he ends up getting with KC. We should also remember that Maclin is from MO, went to college there, and will be playing for the coach who drafted him. This could be more than a business decision for him.

Am I a jaded old cynic for thinking this would have gone differently if he wasn't 18, a hometown boy, and white? Karim Haggui might not have gotten hugs.

Turns out that ol' Billy's message on his bat was for Cal after all.

His subtle, calm, old-man jog celebration at the end is really the best: "Can't exert myself too much. I have to play bocce and drink Chianti in the park after this."

Idiotic workout posted on social media? Looks like someone started doing Crossfit!

if you're going to come at athletes, make sure you're accurate