This is the ESPN equivalent of leaving an open Pornhub tab on the browser and trying to explain it to your wife.

I'm surprised she knows what a pass is considering she's been married to Kobe Bryant for all these years.

Malone: Give me your best shot, Kobe

I LOL'd. "We wanted to know what America would do, I so ran my brand-new car into the back of a minivan last week."

Time for a Kickstarter to raise insane amounts of money for them!

Nope. That's still serious sociopathic behavior.

Kid: AHHH MY NECK, MY BACK, AHHHHH!!!.... Wait, he doesn't have insurance?!

RIP, pro career of Marcus Mariota.

Did you cum in your cargo shorts when you thought of this killer reference? Horrible.

White people should stick to what we know: Controlling the weather and hoarding ammo.

Deflategate aside, I would not be upset if something catastrophic - and likely intentional - happened to Sepp Blatter.

Oddly enough, Peter King was able to confirm this.

Belichick could have paid more attention in school but he was too busy cheating.

Fuck Wilson. The dude just up and swims off at the first sign of rough weather. Some friend.

This seems extremely sketchy... If a cop pulls me over and is wearing a uniform, Im not asking him for his fuckin birth certificate...wtf.

I beg to differ. My friend Jesús won't shut the fuck up about fútbol.

For control, the appropriate question is, what were the PSIs of the Colts balls? Same conditions, should be similar PSIs. Even if they were inflated to 13.5 at the start, they'd still have dropped to 11.5, whereas if the Patriots balls were inflated to 12.5, they'd have dropped to 10.5.

Actually, MLS is a pretty decent draw in most markets. Gate numbers are very respectable. It's the TV ratings that are absolute garbage. And that's where the actual money is in sports.

Brandon Bostick Wasn't Supposed to...Catch That Onside Kick