1. John Wilkes Booth

You don’t even have to consult with Frank to know that this is a bad idea.

Always love plans that are literally based on the scheme of a pyramid.

I wonder where they got that idea?

Short-fingered vulgarian.

Oh my god. That was hilarious.

Good to see the guys from Nickelback didn’t stand around waiting for a hero to save us.

Man, these anti-vaxxers sure do love trying to expose other people to diseases. 

Sure why not logging? Logs are great! They roll down stairs, alone or in pairs, and roll over your neighbors dog. They’re great for a snack, they fit on your back, it's log! Log! Log!

“In her time as First Lady, Mrs. Trump has been a strong proponent of preserving national treasures so that people may enjoy and appreciate their historic value to the nation for generations to come,”

I know. It reminds me of the Joker’s henchmen — if you know the Joker is just as likely to kill you as one of his victims, why did you join his gang? Was King Tut not hiring? 

Luckily for us, he is not part of the government and can and will be thrown in jail if he is held in contempt of Congress

Thin skinned pork product defends his hot dog.

Tax his church.

30 minutes from nuts to bum? Taint possible.

They should have given him Tomato’s burner Kinja account.

If the objective of identifying him as a CIA officer detailed to the white house is to let the readers know that the whistleblower is “credible,” why identify him as a he? Are women not credible?

I’ll always appreciate him because he was the first pitcher to win the Cy Young despite not winning many games thus pissing off all the old baseball people. 

I think you mean 24our/7even