Credit to Belichick: if I had a co-worker who made his quack drug dealer come to every office function I’d appreciate the boss telling him to fuck off.

If Patricia got replaced by a blogger in a hoodie the Lions would be no worse off.

Possible side effect: an irrational and completely unexplained hatred of Malcolm Butler.

You knew Detroit wasn’t going to just let a chance slip by to retake the throne after Cleveland earned a tie.

You know Trump felt he was a genius to solve this financial conundrum .

Clearly a very dignified and respectable mascot. Snowflakes are always ruining tradition!

“At that moment, some rival officials said, the Jays should have pulled back Donaldson from waivers because he was not healthy.”

You are one twisted fuck.

The new contract also allows Gronk to “pet the rabbits, but not too hard.”.

Let this be a lesson kids: weed makes you a cool old dude while speed and Diet Cokes makes you a senile troll.

“Breaking: hip new blogger Donald Trump Jr. buys Deadspin for 1 million Rubles. Clay Travis brought on as EiC.”

I’ll take Mr. Heyman and his client in the octagon over Lozano and his.

I suggest dipping them in Velveeta to act as a binding agent.

Somebody check Trump’s record of High School football service! I knew there was a reason he wasn’t fit to be President!

I can only take solace in the fact that since the default state of a Philly fan is “miserable”, the joy of the Super Bowl will fade at about 9:30 tonight.

Or a nice tarp to drape over his box.

And of course, if something is “allowed” it is an unquestionable good.

Going with “Richard Simmons as the Joker” was a strange life choice, but clearly not the worst one this man made.

Evidently she has so much respect for her fellow “liberals” that she assumed they wouldn’t Google Kavanaugh’s or her own record. Derp.

She can pay for her daughter to get an abortion in secret, so fuck everyone else. She got along with this ghoul when she met him so hurry the hell up and confirm him already!