I knew I made a mistake when I turned down that job at the ‘ol Blonde Conservative mill. Business is booming!

Trump claimed the football league is in a “really bad box”

It’s the “Naughty or Nice” list but for brain dead racists.

Clearly the best gift for a Republican is one of those star certificates. If a piece of paper from the Packers makes them feel like a big deal, a star will make them think they’re God.

Being an out of touch billionaire was fine back in November, though.

Young Dickey was apparently fond enough of Roberto Petagine to give him the one name treatment.

*gently pushes O-lineman aside, breaks Andrew Luck’s spine*

And it’s all possible thanks to maroons who also desperately need healthcare voting for these scumbags because “small gubmint” or “Obama is a communist mooslim”.

“I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to help you.”

I judge a movie on one simple merit: how much is it like Predator? If mother! runs about a 60% Predator similarity score, I’ll probably give it a look.

Well, let’s calculate: if you are 0.0% likely to partake in forced sodomy, then alcohol will have no effect . So I agree, for whatever otherwise “normal” individuals that MIGHT be thinking of forcing an object into another person’s anus (perhaps it’s just a passing fancy while sober!), they probably shouldn’t buy that…

I’d rather him just play Luther in a Bond movie. Fuck all the fancy bullshit and just rough the bad guys up.

Until he’s not. Because he’s make-believe.

I don’t need ESPN to tell me Andy Dalton sucks or that Trump is a white supremacist. Some things are just obvious enough on their own.

And those employers can refuse to hire a rapist. Just because he’s free doesn’t mean the rest of the world has to forget that he’s a rapist. There can also be consequences for actions aside from those imposed by the law.

If it means less Michael Kay on the television I think we’re all winners.

How does a baseball game take this long without Joe West being involved?

Give me the gas leak episode with multiple Jacks and Michael Keaton.

“But hope is not lost. Because perhaps you, dear reader, are a resident of Alabama”

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Blame the boys downstairs.” - Antonio Cromartie’s penis