Oh don’t worry: you can look at his first year, too! Which was also shitty!

Ah yes, he of the .397 TS%. Does “two-way” mean shitty but also terrible?

The renovation plan includes a statue of Curt Schilling outside the stadium, in honor of a great Diamondback and inspiration for fucking over taxpayers.

Hey! Don’t point out that “Drive” isn’t arthouse cinema! I need my lust for skull-cavings to appear tasteful!

Time for Joe Blanton to update his Tinder profile!

“Is it okay if we practice some defense now, Dad?”

Leave that poor grandma alone, DeMarcus.

“Shit. How’s he going to know to run a one-back, three wide set!?”

Hey, at least in New Jersey we hate our despicable Republican governor.

Damn it! Thanks for being such a pile of shit, Schilling. Now I share an opinion with fucking Shaughnessy.

“Baseball, like all once proud American Institutions, has been thoroughly cucked as well”

D-Bag for D-Backs Angers D Blacks

The first Cowboys game was a “false” test, I guess.

The popularity of all this shanking on TV is going to get us an OZ reboot.

But not gay bridges. Those need to be fixed!

An alabaster-white American with power in a time of slavery!

If America had a VP-elect who waved his dick at press conferences and literally ate shit, it would apparently be disrespectful to boo because of the position alone.

Sorry Dave, Hitler is dead and Satan is busy. Pence is the worst place to get ideas from.

The understandable look of dread on a man about to be evaluated by NFL physicians for brain trauma.

I understand their plight a shitload better than Ivory Tower Motherfucker Donald Trump. If you’re saying Hillary should have lied and said she’ll get the Rust Belt their jobs back, then sure. Probably would have helped her.