Wanting people to “think like me” and “not vote for monster” are two very different things. And even then, if I did like them, I would still give them a hard time for putting this jackass in power. The decision is no less awful, even if they were SUPER gay.

It really is true. “Candidate X shook my hand” is still the vote-getter that no plan of action or credential will ever be.

What do I need to know about them? Is it better if they’re not racists? It may be even worse if they’re not. “I’m not a racist, but I voted for one and his stances and now he runs America.”

That sounds an awful lot like Commie FDR-speak right there!

Fine, they’re disenfranchised. They can’t find work. That sucks. How on God’s green Earth is voting for Trumpzilla fixing that exactly?

“Mr. Briles, you enticed recruits with offers of snacks and rape without consequence, and you know how we frown upon free food to recruits.”

Don’t blame me! I committed fraud and voted for Hillary 20 times. I did MY part.

Now’s not the time for magic spells, Joe.

“If one were to make a list of reasons for Knicks fans to be pessimistic about their team’s prospects going forward, Jackson might be No. 1.”

A lot of incest in the early days of gaming.

“look at their eyes when they’re lookin’ at each other. It’s like that hungry look.”

A tie and some unprovoked hooliganism instantly made American football popular in England.

What a clickbait headline! His skull is still attached to his neck.

At least, at the end of the day, the A’s aren’t Smash Mouth. Hell, even the Browns aren’t forced to be Smash Mouth!

Disappointed that Murray’s storied history of fucking with fans didn’t culminate with “Go Indians!”.

When Davis stated he wanted to keep his “life essence” as a part of the deal, Adelson shrieked and retreated into The Dark Void.

No, she was having fun when her organs failed! She just didn’t want to stop!

Of course! And I’m sure your position is based upon lots of scientific research on the nature and effects of addiction, right?

It’s sad stories like this that should serve as a reminder that no amount of talent or intelligence protects someone from a downfall due to addiction.

Regressive Field