An alabaster-white American with power in a time of slavery!

If America had a VP-elect who waved his dick at press conferences and literally ate shit, it would apparently be disrespectful to boo because of the position alone.

Sorry Dave, Hitler is dead and Satan is busy. Pence is the worst place to get ideas from.

The understandable look of dread on a man about to be evaluated by NFL physicians for brain trauma.

I understand their plight a shitload better than Ivory Tower Motherfucker Donald Trump. If you’re saying Hillary should have lied and said she’ll get the Rust Belt their jobs back, then sure. Probably would have helped her.

Wanting people to “think like me” and “not vote for monster” are two very different things. And even then, if I did like them, I would still give them a hard time for putting this jackass in power. The decision is no less awful, even if they were SUPER gay.

It really is true. “Candidate X shook my hand” is still the vote-getter that no plan of action or credential will ever be.

What do I need to know about them? Is it better if they’re not racists? It may be even worse if they’re not. “I’m not a racist, but I voted for one and his stances and now he runs America.”

That sounds an awful lot like Commie FDR-speak right there!

Fine, they’re disenfranchised. They can’t find work. That sucks. How on God’s green Earth is voting for Trumpzilla fixing that exactly?

“Mr. Briles, you enticed recruits with offers of snacks and rape without consequence, and you know how we frown upon free food to recruits.”

Don’t blame me! I committed fraud and voted for Hillary 20 times. I did MY part.

Now’s not the time for magic spells, Joe.

“If one were to make a list of reasons for Knicks fans to be pessimistic about their team’s prospects going forward, Jackson might be No. 1.”

A lot of incest in the early days of gaming.

“look at their eyes when they’re lookin’ at each other. It’s like that hungry look.”

A tie and some unprovoked hooliganism instantly made American football popular in England.

What a clickbait headline! His skull is still attached to his neck.

At least, at the end of the day, the A’s aren’t Smash Mouth. Hell, even the Browns aren’t forced to be Smash Mouth!

Disappointed that Murray’s storied history of fucking with fans didn’t culminate with “Go Indians!”.