When Davis stated he wanted to keep his “life essence” as a part of the deal, Adelson shrieked and retreated into The Dark Void.

No, she was having fun when her organs failed! She just didn’t want to stop!

Of course! And I’m sure your position is based upon lots of scientific research on the nature and effects of addiction, right?

It’s sad stories like this that should serve as a reminder that no amount of talent or intelligence protects someone from a downfall due to addiction.

Regressive Field

Be careful, Andrew. Touting yourself as a conservative Maverick is an easy way to get yourself linked to Sarah Palin forever.

If my beard is a “primitive shit-tier trait” my balls must mean I should just walk back into the ocean.

Bad apple called out by good Apple.

“What are two things a fourteen year old boy wants in his mouth, and the only one that’s in there now.”

“I think that rich spoiled athlete ought to give all his money to take care of fallen police officers.”

Yo momma so old, Donald Trump won’t even grab her granddaughter’s pussy.

Gary Johnson counters with “Where’s the beef?”, but is actually confused about where beef comes from.

Post-Traumatic Stripper Delivery

“i feel bad for our country. But this is tremendous content.”

Pablo Sandoval will follow a similar path after his retirement with his line of men’s tarps.

Time to build that ice wall.

It’s going to be a pretty dull Civil War until Newt appears stuffed into into his Spider-Man attire.

As a founding member of the Whig Party I’m indifferent.

Donald Trump will both wear it and grab it.

Can’t I just sell Russia my credit card number directly?