Kevin White sure holds a lot of sway after two NFL games.

The boom has never been lower.

Farm-to-table-to-face-to-fist

Lewd town names or Star Wars Episode 1 characters?

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas for 10 seasons until a better offer rolls around.

“And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I can have my rights stripped and be stuck in a dungeon somewhere and have my testicles electrocuted.”

With a massive failure of a business venture on his resume and vitriolic social media presence, Curt Schilling gladly accepts the 2020 Republican presidential nomination.

Always start with the Crane Kick, Derek-san.

The Patriots are combing the rulebook to see how many of Brady’s parts can be affixed while still being legally considered Jacoby Brissett.

And on the “American Outrage” meter, this revolting display has only earned 0.0001 Kaepernicks.

Also his sterling .299 OBP! Matt Kemp is terrible.

And a whole 0.6 fWAR. He’s up to 1 in the past two seasons! Good for him!

The Padres felt it was only fair since the Dodgers failed to disclose Matt Kemp was legally dead.

Most cults at least give you the uniform for free. Tough break.

A man who was paid handsomely without producing anything of value has nothing left to learn in Silicon Valley.

And there goes all that money earmarked for genital-scanning bathroom robots.

Which is swell for everyone that isn’t burned alive by the wildfire.

I guess it was too much to hope this ended with his wiping his butt with the flag.

George Steinbrenner returns from Hell to try and trade him for Carlos Gonzalez.

/Shane Spencer’s ears prick up