Just when we thought he had all the answers, he forgot all the questions.

As a Brit, I would like to add that I love visiting the Southern states of the USA. I have learned to keep my mouth shut about religion, politics and guns muttering ‘none of my business, sir/ma’am’ if it ever comes up. That doesn’t leave a lot to talk about (heh), but I find layovers there so much more interesting…

I’ve got my sword! I’ve got my map! And Iiii’ve got my pixie dust! But we only use it in emergencies!

Goddamn Floridians. Can’t even spell their kids’ names right. It’s X-Y-L-A. Christ.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

YOU’VE OFFENDED THE GEOGRAPHERS. RUN.

No, not even close.

That was the best Thunder I’ve seen since the time Buff Bagwell dressed up as Scott Steiner and called himself ‘Big Poppa Dump’ and the ‘Big Bad Doodoo Daddy’

Driver stayed calm, but the dashcam was FREAKIN’ OUT

To this day, AJ will go down as one of my top 5 favorite sox players.

Yeah, I saw him dead and he wasn’t near as funny.

Just a few weeks ago, I was driving home down I-94 through Kalamazoo, MI when I saw cars scatter in front of me like they were the Red Sea parting. Next thing I see is a brand new Lazy Boy Recliner tumbling down the highway at 75mph. Shrapnel flying everywhere; foam bits, chair bits, box bits, metal bits. After…

Actually, Hillary should get the fuck out, because she is facing federal charges, is widely considered to be corrupt, takes money from a wide range of questionable people, and really isn’t even a very good politician by any objective measure.

“All puns aside, North Korea Gawker is horrible, where people are sent off to gulags the unemployment lines for the slightest offense and millions dozens have starved to death gone on to better things.”

NSFW or anywhere else . . .

Bernie Sanders stickers. I refuse to tow people with those because I won’t get paid.

I will always give the award for terrible steering wheel design to the Subaru XT:

Porsche 964. That steering wheel is a crime

There’s one running around here that has - I shit you not - a pair of those long trumpet horns mounted on the passenger’s side of the hood. Not screwed onto the hood, but in a recess let into the panel so presumably they are actually functional. Driven by an old guy with a white Santa Claus beard. I’ve never gotten a…

There's one in my town (it's a very tiny town). The woman who owns it is 48 trying to look 18. Crazy died spiked hair, age-inappropriate clothes (think loud and tight). She always has that "just ate a lemon" look on her face. The whole ensemble - her and the car - is just ick.