I have been to Golden Gate Fields once for a special occasion. I went into the OTB section and was immediately depressed as hell. The people in there just struck me as sad.

I was enjoying that fine until I got to the racist bear, then I laugh spit on my computer.

Shouldn’t this have been “Intentionally grounded.”?

Oh geez.  She is going to be there isn’t she?  I don’t even live in Arkansas and the thought of her depresses me.

You know, Jeebus?

“But you know as well as I, patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile.”

Fuck everything, we’re doing five cameras:

He was by far my favorite football player growing up.  I vividly remember him running for 199 yards and 4 TDs.  He, along with Steve McNair, is also a large part of the reason that I can’t watch football anymore.  He was a monster and now he is a wreck.

I was working at the Museum of American History in 2000 when we heard that W. was going to come for a visit. Everybody had to clear out, no one could come to work that day. Then that fuck went to play golf. I thought that was pretty obnoxious. But trying to close the National Museum of African American History and…

That naked guy story was even more horrible that you might think: https://deadspin.com/rays-prospect-blake-bivens-after-family-was-killed-in-t-1837735652

I don’t know exactly when you were at Rice, but when I was there Shiner Bock was the only beer on tap at Valhalla and was absurdly cheap.  Valhalla was rumored to account for a significant percentage of all Shiner sold.  That was before it was available everywhere.

I am ready for some old-school gatekeeper to complain that he was running too fast and was somehow disrespectful.

My first, second and third thought.  This scene was fantastic.  My friend says that all the muscles in his body contracted at the same time.

Wow, an Omelas reference.  And a fitting one too.

Gotta keep ahead of the Browns.

Dead and Buried is the one on this list that I have never seen and I have to say that that was an unexpected clip.  How did those fishermen get so sneaky?  And competent at using high-end photography equipment?  I feel I have to see it now!

I tried that once.  It didn’t work as well as I hoped.  

Except a lot of people like Forrest Gump, or at least Tom Hanks.

Fun fact: Jim Davis is worth $800 Million from Garfield.  In other words, there is no God.

Also known as boustrophedonic writing.