I am watching something scarier:

Anyone else particularly unnerved by the music? Something about discordant skittering string instruments to let you know SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG AND BAD.

I got that but who’s the mother?

It’s J Law. The trailer made it seem like Michelle was Ed Harris’ wife.

I actually liked the whole movie, but the death and destruction was for sure the best part.

Steve Martin’s new play

It’s a fan.

The dying part was the only thing I liked about Melancholia.

That is a cheap looking award, though.

It frankly makes me feel better about myself to know I wasn’t the only person who thought Schumer was walking the red carpet with a hot pink dildo.

I scrolled down too fast and thought she was toting a dildo around on the red carpet.

Pence hasn’t exactly been on the up & up about what he knows and when he knew it re: Trump - Russia money laundering et, al

The ‘anymore’ is what separates you from Tuggernuts. Left In The Sun For Four Days Mango Smoothie would bitch, moan, and get so doped out, he’d probably self release the pee tapes.

This is why I haven’t dated in years. I’ve tried, briefly, to get back out there... and I get no bites from anyone I’d be into. Just weirdos and chubby chasers (who are also weirdos). I am not interested in a relationship with someone who fetishizes my current size or worse, is a “feeder” who would encourage me to get…

You just made my vagina slam shut.

Like, OMG... it’s so heartwarming that he still loves her, even though her ovaries have shrivelled up and she has 17 grey hairs and lines around her eyes!

*Olympians rush to give him their hard-earned gold medals*

I understand maybe sharing something to encourage one’s fellow bros to not have such a narrow view of what is beautiful, in a woman, and to examine how popular media may be influencing what they like a little too much... but it’s pretty icky to make one’s wife a model example in this, and point out her different body…

This reminds me of when Lindy West confronted her personal troll. He admitted to targeting her not because she was fat but because she was fat and didn’t hate herself.

random anonymous guy a boner. Giving your partner of 30 years one doesn’t count. (although arguably more of a challenge.)

ew ew ew ew ew ew